Thursday, December 8, 2011

RIP John Lennon/Happy Birthday, Mr. Morrison/ The Charge of the Bitch

I hope everyone is having a beautiful week! Today is December 8th which marks for me every year two major occasions in Rock N' Roll history. The first is the birth of James Douglas Morrison (or, for those of you not familiar with this name...if that is possible...the crazy dude that sang for The Doors) Today Jim would have turned 68. Unbelievable, huh? So that is the happy event of the day but while one rock star's birth is celebrated today, another's death is mourned. It has been 31 years today since my beloved John Lennon was shot dead. Both men were amazing, both men became legends, and neither one will be forgotten.
John Lennon- Imagine
The Doors-The End:
Now, this is something I found HILARIOUS that was shared on facebook a little while ago. Any of my witchy pals on here with no doubt recognize what this is taken from and I, personally, think The Goddess would be very amused by this spin on The Charge.

'Charge of the Bitch! 

Listen to the words of the Great Beeotch she who of old is known as Arwen, 
Inanna, Jaz, Kriselda, Lynna, Raven, Suzi, and Wolfrose, and by many other 
Names, some best left censored: 

Whenever you have need of anything once in the month, and better it be when 
it is not my moon time or any other time when I might be tired or already 
irritable, then shall you gather and adore me, who am Queen of all Bitches. 

There shall you gather, you who desire to learn the true Art of Bitchcraft, 
yet have not honed it to razor sharp precision; to these I will teach the 
esoterism of true bitchiness. 

And you shall be free from fluff; and as a 
sign that you are truly free, you shall cite tradition, correct misconception, 
bad grammar, spelling errors, and demand proper Capitalization, and punctuation. 

For I am educated and can read above third grade level. Keep pure your highest ideal; strive ever towards it and if Anyone tries to stop you, smack them hard upside the head. For mine is the Determination to succeed and educate the ignorant. 

I am the Queen Mother Bitch, Who can give the Gift of Joy unto the heart of man or woman if you have not seriously ticked me off. On Earth, I give the 
knowledge that to communicate effectively and honestly is no crime; and, 
beyond death, I give peace from the fools who have annoyed you and freedom 
from those fools, and reunion with other great Bitches who have gone before 

And actually, I do demand sacrifice, for behold: Putting up with these 
Twits wears on my nerves. I am the Bitch of All Living and My Ire is poured 
Out upon the Earth when I am grumpy. 

Hear ye the Words of the Star Goddess: She under Whose Feet all stupid 
people are Dust, Whose Body encircleth the Universe especially when She is bloated: 

I, Who am the Bitch Queen of the Earth and the Black Mood amongst the Stars, And the Mystery of why idiots are not drowned in my Waters, and the Desire Of the heart of man to avoid Me when I get like this. I call unto thy soul, All ye who would be Bitches: "Arise! And come unto Me!" For I am the Soul of the Bitch, Who giveth Crap back to the Universe: from Me all things proceed, and unto Me all things must return and if they don't get here fast enough, I may hurt something. And before My Face, which is Bitchy and known to all gods and men, thine innermost Bitch Self shall be Enfolded in the Rapture of the Infinite Bitch. 

Let My Worship be within the heart that tolerates no shit, for behold: all 
Acts of bitchiness and honesty are my rituals. And therefore let there be 
Bitching and strength, honesty and compassion, honor and humor, mirth and 
Reverence within you. And thou who thinkest to seek for Me, know thy seeking 

and yearning shall avail thee not, unless thou knowest the Mystery: that if thou 
are Stupid who Seekest Me, then thou shalt never find Me. 

For behold, I have been with thee from the beginning; and I am That which is 

Attained at the end of PMS.'

So I hope that got a smile out of ya. This time of year, we all need a little something to chuckle at. 

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