Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Counting Down the Twelve Days Til Christmas (And Eight Days til Yule) Part 1

You could not have a holiday season without the movies and the music that make it special. It is my opinion that anyone, regardless of how bad ass they believe they are, will go back in time and be temporarily six years old again when they sit down to watch their favorite Christmas movie on television or as soon as they hear the first notes of Rudolf the Rednose Reindeer on the radio. We all have our lists of favorites that make the holidays brighter. We all have our special memories that are instantly called up while watching these movies or listening to these songs. And it is to honor those memories that I am giving you, wonderful people of the blog, my own lists. I have made two for the songs. One is for Christmas and the other is for Yule. I do not know any Hanukkah or Kwanzaa songs. If you celebrate these holidays and you have songs, please tell us about them. I personally would love to hear (because I will youtube them, of course). In the meantime, here is the list of my twelve favorites in the movie department:
1) A Christmas Carol 
This is my favorite Christmas story of all time. I have watched every version of the movie including the silent movie version (which was available on youtube last year so you might want to check it out if you are interested because it's probably still there). But my two all time favorite versions are the version with Patrick Stewart (which is still on youtube) and the newest version with Jim Carry. George C. Scott takes third place. I do not watch and cannot stand the modernized versions like Scrooged because to me A Christmas Carol is timeless. It has a moral, a great moral, and there is no reason to fuck with that. 

2) The Nutcracker
Until this past week, my favorite version of this was actually the ballet version that they used to show on television when I was a kid. But now I have a new favorite. The version that came out last year (yes, another 3D miracle I should not watch as an epileptic) is my new most favorite because it was well done, it had Nathan Lane (love him!), the 3D was just bad ass, and it was fun to watch.

3) It's A Wonderful Life
This is my mom's second favorite (Prancer is her first) and when I was little I loved it. Then when I got to be about 12 I was sick of it. I mean, she did not wait until December to watch this movie. She watched it all...the fucking...time. So for about nine years I refused to look at it, I wanted no part of it, and I swore I would never watch it again. But then when I was twenty one I caught it on television on Christmas Eve and before I knew it, my eyes were glued to the timeless story of Mr. George Bailey and his struggle to figure out what life is all about. Like A Christmas Carol, it has a timeless meaning behind it and who doesn't have at least one good memory of watching this?
 4) Santa Claus is Coming to Town
When I was about five my great grandmother bought me the set of Christmas cartoons that had this and Frosty and all of those great cartoons from the '60's and '70's in them. I watched the hell out of those movies! As soon as Christmas break started every year, it was time to break out that great little box that contained the movies, get my sleeping bag, and curl up on the floor to watch them. During the holidays I think we all tend to miss those we love who have passed away and since Grandma Betty died in 1996, these movies took on a more sentimental meaning for me. Not only do I love them because they are great and I have a million fun memories of them, I also love them because they remind me of her. I don't know if she knew this but she actually gave me one of the greatest gifts I ever got because here I am, 19 years later, still watching these movies every year. I have passed them on to my baby sister and I will pass them on one day to my kids. And yeah, this one was my favorite (Ah, the love story of Kris and Jessica...it just gets me every time), it has the song I sang to Dakota while I was teaching her to walk (Put one foot in front of the other...and soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor...), and when I watch it I get as giddy as a six year old. 
5) Prancer
As I said earlier, this is my mom's favorite Christmas movie...mostly because she has a major thing for Sam Elliot (which is why I hate Roadhouse) and like It's A Wonderful Life, I spent many years hating this movie and swearing it off forever. But over the last couple of years I have found my love for this movie renewed. Certain scenes (especially the one where Jessica sleds through  the scary old woman's flower bed and first goes inside her house) bring back my emotions that I had watching them when I was little which is what really makes Christmas movies special in my opinion. I used to watch this and think that it was...magical. So it is only fitting that I should watch it now when I am all grown up and childhood magic (you know, the kind of magic that made EVERYTHING look better than it really was?) is lost to me in this life and try, for two hours, to get that feeling back.
6) Rudolf The Rednose Reindeer
First, I must say that I love Hermey. Yeah, I know the movie is about Rudolf and I love him too but Hermey is my elf! An elf that wants to be a dentist kind of sums up the way I felt as a child. I was a misfit, Hermey was a misfit, Rudolf was too...and then...and then...there was a whole friggin' LAND of misfits! For me, the message I got from this when I was a kid was pretty simple. So you happen to be a little weird and you don't fit in. So what? One day you will be a dentist or a toy with an owner or the leader of Santa's friggin' sleigh and that is pretty cool. :)
7) Frosty the Snowman
Frosty was my little brother's favorite of our Christmas movie collection when we were little. It was really cute (and I am glad he doesn't read this because he would probably kick my ass for sharing) because Ryan would cry every time he watched it when Frosty melted. Every single time. And then I would have to be a nice big sister (something I really wasn't when we were kids) and tell him that it was like the song said. He would be back again and it was alright and all that. So when I watch this movie, it makes me think of my little bubby (who now has a baby of his own) crying his eyes out at the temporary death of Frosty. How sweet is that?
8) Bad Santa
There are some movies that are hilarious the first time you see them and then the more you watch them the more the hilariaty of the film fades until parts that once inspired a big ole' belly laugh only gets a small smile. Yeah...This is NOT one of those movies for me. The first time I saw it I laughed my ass off from start to finish. I haven't watched it yet this year but I will and when I do, I will laugh my ass off from start to finish. I will not watch it on television because it just lacks its huge dose of fucking hilarious censored. And this movie produced one of my favorite lines of all time. I bet you all know what I am going to say because I am me, right? Well, if you didn't guess it, here it is: "Fuck me, Santa...Fuck me, Santa...Fuckk...mmeeeee....Sannnttttaaaaa!!!!" hahahaha Whoever wrote this script, I tip my hat to you because you, my friend are a bigger perv than I am and that is almost impossible! ;)
9) Home Alone
If you were a child in the early '90's and you never slapped your face and screamed like your ass was on fire just once because of this movie....were you Amish? lol This is another one that makes me think of my brother because he loved this movie. The old man scared the shit out of him, though. But more than that, I loved it because I wanted what Kevin had. I wanted my family to forget me all by myself for days. It did not matter if it happened during Christmas...or Valentines Day...or even the 4th of July. I wanted to be home alone doing what I wanted and having a great time with that. This movie also has my favorite version of Carol of the Bells in it. I will only watch the first one, by the way, because I believe that if you lose your kid and leave the fucking state without them TWICE CPS should really come and investigate you and you should NOT be rewarded with a movie contract. hahahaha

Let me start with a confession: When I was little I was in love with Chevy Chase. I watched everything he was in and I did so with this dreamy look on my creepy little face because I thought he was adorable. So yeah, Christmas time meant people would show this movie and I could get a little dose of my beloved Chevy. Plus...ummm....this movie was funny as hell. 

11) A Christmas Story
"You'll shoot your eye out!" Hell yeah you will but before shooting your eye out, you will have to put up with a sarcastic teacher, a little asshole school bully, a brother who eats dinner like a pig, your mother and father who believe that the word 'fuck' should not come from your mouth no matter how bad you fudge up while helping dad put a tire on, and a Santa Claus that is probably drunk on whiskey and banging the little bitchy elf. Sound like fun? Of course not. Ralphie is my dude. Ralphie did not have an ideal adventure trying to get one fucking thing...just one...that he wanted for Christmas. He had to put up with ALOT of bullshit, ya know? But he perservered. He did not say "Oh well...no one wants to get it for me so I guess I want a sled". Hell no! He did everything he could possible do and in the end he got that Red Rider BB Gun. And yeah, he shot his fucking eye out with it. But I will bet you he went right back out the next day and shot the damned thing at any thing he could find in the back yard that might move. (Part two of the movie was cut out but it was the part where Ralphie developed his street rep as the badest squirrel killer since those brothers on Swamp People) Why? Because Ralphie knew what he wanted, he did not take no for an answer, and in the end he got it so do I think he will let a friggin' BB in the eye keep him from what he wants to do? Hell no I don't! Ralphie for president, biatches! lmao
12) The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of my favorite movies of all time. I actually got it for Christmas when I was 7 (might have been 8) and from the first time I watched it I was enthralled...and in love. Jack Skellington is oh so sexy. Anyway, I am sure you are wondering why it is number 12 on this list if it is one of my favorite movies ever. Well, on my Halloween list of movies it would be number two (second only to Hocus Pocus). But this is my Christmas list and while I do watch this movie every year at Christmas time and I do consider it a half-breed (Half Halloween-Half Christmas) the movies I named above are simply higher on this particular list because they are pure breeds and I only watch them all one time a year and they have only Christmas memories attached. 

So, there ya have it! My twelve favorite Christmas movies of all time. Please feel free to comment or, better yet, share your own list in the comments. I would love to hear what everyone has to say. If you have any memories attached to these movies, SHARE! And now, my friends, it is on to music.....

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