Saturday, September 28, 2019

To Hell and Back: A Mabon Love Story (The Gods in Therapy)




 Hades sat across from Emily, a surprisingly handsome deity with a serious nature that made him seem sullen. Perhaps he was. Emily could not tell as he had yet to say a word since Hecate brought him into the room. It was getting late in the evening and Emily was gathering her things to go home for the night when the gentle knock on her door announced a walk-in visit from her beloved Matron Goddess. It was the eve of Mabon and Emily was considering taking the Sabbat off to enjoy it fully. It did not feel like Mabon. Not really. The high for the day was eighty three degrees fahrenheit and there was no breeze in sight when she tried to open the windows of her small office earlier in the day. But that was the fault of global warming, the fault of ignorant humans who would destroy their species in order to make the money that only had value because their species declared it so. Whether it felt like autumn or not, at three thirty in the morning when the Sun entered Libra, it indeed would be. That thought filled her mind before the pair walked through her door. Hecate introduced Emily to the God of the Underworld as she would have introduced her to anyone off the street, as if it were no big deal that this God, who was not known for leaving his realm, found himself so troubled that he left in order to talk to a human about whatever it was that was on his mind. As quickly as she came, Hecate left them, promising to return when her nephew was ready to go home even though Emily was sure Hades could go home without her assistance. Now there was nothing to do but wait...and notice how beautiful Hades was. She thought he looked more like Hermes than any deity in Olympus that she met thus far. With his cole black hair and his unusual eyes, a kaleidoscope of colors ranging from blue to green to lavender with yellow swirls tying all of the colors together, he was pale in a pleasing way and he was slight of build but it suited him well. He was also extraordinarily tall, perhaps as tall as six feet and six inches. It was easy for her to see why Persephone was willing to leave her mother and her world behind to have him…
          “You do not truly feel that way, dear girl. It is because of the job I do that you are thinking such things. If you find it difficult to have a love affair with Hermes, you would certainly have many sleepless nights as Queen of the Underworld. I know my wife would say the same. Close your eyes, breathe a deep breath, and I will tell you my story...if you want to hear it.”
         Hades had a kind, soft voice, very soothing to Emily’s soul and, even though she was startled that he read her mind in such a way, Emily found herself doing what he asked. When her mind was clear, she asked him to go on, to explain why he came to her.
        “The reason I came is simple. I am tired of my brother’s lies against me. I am not the villain humans now believe I am. The more people feared death, the easier it was for them to believe the horrible things Zeus said of me. I am also tired of the way his lies hurt my beloved wife. He twisted our beautiful love story into a tale of abuduction and rape and that has always bothered her. I also know now the worst of what he’s done behind my back, the pain he caused a woman I once loved with all of my heart and the only child I ever fathered, and I want him dead. I’ve dealt with his hatred and his cruelty for a very long time and this is the first time I’ve ever been so angry that I could literally kill him myself. He is my youngest brother. I do not wish to carry such hatred. I hope by telling you the truth, I might let go of this terrible fury.”
          Emily opened her eyes, surprised to hear him talk of a woman he loved that was not Persephone. It seemed as if the more she learned of the Gods, the more convoluted the myths seemed, and none were more twisted to benefit one God above the others than the Greek myths. One thing could be said in Zeus’s favor. He was one hell of a PR guy. As this thought passed through her mind, she and Hades smiled at the same time and she knew he once again heard her thoughts. “Would you like to start from the beginning then?” She asked, confused by the combination of unease and perfect calm that Hades’s presence created inside of her. 
          “That would be very nice. Thank you.” For a moment he said nothing as he stared through her as if he were literally looking at memories in his mind. Then he sighed and continued. “I am the oldest of my brothers. It was me and then Poseidon and then Zeus. Our father was a beast of a man, driven mad by his quest to hold on to power. He never wanted to relinquish even a small portion of it to anyone and the only deity he ever backed down to was our Auntie Hecate. During my childhood, she often took me with her on adventures simply to get me away from him. Like Zeus, he was cruel. I hated him. But I wanted him to love me. I felt very alone as I grew up. I felt as if no one loved me except for Hecate, my mother, and my brother. Then my father heard of a prophecy that said one of his children would take his power just as he learned that my mother was pregnant with Zeus. He tried to kill mother in her sleep in order to kill the babe in her womb assuming that child was the one in the prophecy. Auntie Hecate came the next day and she took mother away, hiding her in a place she would not even tell me the location of. For what felt like years, Posiden and I stayed with her, traveling between heaven, Earth, and the Underworld. In those days, she always returned to the Underworld where the Souls of the Lost came to lay down their burdens so they might one day be reborn.”
        “I felt at peace in the Underworld but Posiden hated it. He was afraid of it. So I made up games and I told him stories and I took him away from the river where the souls were kept to the caverns with their crystals and their stones, showing him the beauty of the place without the sorrow. Eventually mother gave birth to the baby she carried and then Auntie Hecate brought her to the Underworld, a realm my father could not enter, to protect her and the child. As soon as I saw Zeus, I fell in love with him. Posiden and I were so close in age. I could not remember him as a babe but Zeus is quite a bit younger than I am and to me, there was never a thing more precious than my dear baby brother. I had no idea how long we would have to hide from the one who sired us but I feared for my tiny baby brother trying to grow in the land of the dead so I kept him close to me, caring for him on our adventures to softer places in that realm as mother told me to do. I fed him and sang to him, I bathed him and taught him to walk. I cherished him. Truly. But I worried for him and so, it seemed, did our Auntie.”
        “One night as the rest of my family slept, I was startled out of slumber by the frustrated cries of Hecate. She was always so kind, so good with us that it seemed unreal to find her beside of the river of the dead weeping in her aggravation saying over and over again that she just needed a little more power...just a little more...to defeat my father. You see, while we were hiding, he was raising an army that sided with him out of fear and Hecate would have but one chance to defeat them all. It seemed like an extraordinary task for anyone, even her. I thought she would lose no matter what she tried. But I have always loved her in a way, I confess, I never loved either of my parents. I knew it was on our behalf that she fought and I felt that, if my father and his army were going to destroy her, they might as well destroy me too. So I sat beside of her at that river I loved with the souls I tried to help when I could and I told her that I would fight with her. At first she refused but as the days went on and father raised more and more power, with the blessing of my mother, she agreed to take me with her.”
        “The night before I left, I said my goodbyes to both of my brothers but, of course, it was harder to say goodbye to my beloved Zeus. He was still so small and we loved one another so much. He cried hysterically as I left and those cries rang in my mind the entire time I was gone. Before the ambush, I thought of those cries and of the love I had for Zeus and I reminded myself again and again that the man who sired us tried to kill that baby I loved so before he even made it into the world. That was how I summoned the anger I needed. That anger, the energy of it, combined with the incredible power of Hecate, destroyed my father and his massive army. I was shocked by our victory. When I said goodbye to my family, I thought it was forever. Zeus was very happy to see me when I returned to the Underworld and mother was very happy with our news. Hecate was the new ruler of all the realms, as she should have been. And she was one hell of a ruler indeed. Each realm knew prosperity and joy thanks to the choices she made. But when my brothers and I grew to be men, she decided she was truly happiest when she was with the women and children of Earth. No one wanted her to relinquish her power completely so it was decided that she would remain the official ruler of each realm but Zeus, Poseidon, and I would each take the responsibility of one realm a piece. Because it was I who helped her defeat father, I was allowed first pick.”
         “I chose the Underworld without having to think on it. That was the realm I most loved. It always was, from my earliest memories of it. The souls there seemed to find comfort in my presence and I was usually able to help them overcome the pain that brought them to the River of Lost Souls in the first place. I saw beauty in that place where none but Hecate had ever seen beauty. But it was also decided that, like my aunt, I would be able to leave whenever I chose.”
        “Before Zeus became a bastard for power, I often went to visit him in Olympus. That was how I met Ashera. I was coming back to the Underworld after visiting Zeus and I decided to stop on earth first to visit with Auntie Hecate. Ashera was with her, this gorgeous creature who was blind but could see and who drank blood but only from those who deserved it. She was absolutely enchanting. She could not live in the sunshine so the idea of the Underworld, a place that is always darker than other realms, was just fine to her. She was my first queen in every way. I loved her with every piece of my being and I wanted to keep her with me for all time. By eating the seeds of the pomegranate, she was able to go back to earth when she wanted to in order to see the few people from the realm of Atlantis that survived with her and to see Hecate. For a time, she and I were happy...really truly happy.”
         Emily was startled to realize the beautiful kaleidoscope eyes she was focused on were filling with tears. Those tears seemed to tear at her heart in a way nothing that came from a patient did before. “When we discovered Ashera was pregnant, we were overjoyed. We did not know how it happened. Vampires do not get pregnant. They never have and they never will. Whether it was made possible because I am a God or whether my Auntie had something to do with it, I still am not sure. But we were impossibly happy. And then one night she went up to the realm of humans...and she never returned. She was big with child and I searched for her. Everywhere in all of the realms I searched. Hecate and other deities joined my search but we never found her. A few months passed and I was told by Hecate that my child was born, that he was taken to Olympus though she wasn’t sure who brought him there. Ashera was still gone and it appeared she was not coming back. Hecate believed she died having the baby because we both knew even if, for some reason, she left me she would have never left that child. Hecate asked me if I wanted my baby to come and live with me. And I did. I wanted that with all of my heart and soul. But I thought on it long and hard and, when she told me Zeus and Hera were taking care of him, I decided it would be best for him if I left him in Olympus with them. This was before I knew the monster my spoiled baby brother had become. To me, he was still that precious baby I once cared for and, as far as I knew, he was a decent father. Hecate assured me that it seemed as if my brother and his wife would be good to my son and I thought Olympus would make a much better home for a child to grow up in than my land of the dead. So even though it hurt me to my core, I did what I thought would be best for my son and I allowed him to grow up surrounded by a large family that loved him.”
          “Though a long time passed, I was still grieving the loss of the little family I once created when Persephone followed Hermes to my realm. I still do not know how she did it. I have always believed that Hermes allowed her to come with him, though the two of them refuse to confirm my suspicion on that. What I do know is that she waited until he left to make herself known to me. She hid in one of the many caverns, investigating the crystals and sleeping on the hard dirt, absorbing the energy of my realm. I don’t believe she knew I could leave. I was shocked when she showed herself, a beautiful naked maiden with long dark brown hair hanging to her legs and the most enchanting eyes I ever saw staring at me with nothing but innocence. Her smile squeezed my heart and made me feel as I only ever felt with Ashera before her. There was a part of me that wanted to bow at her feet and beg her to stay with me forever. But I knew who she was when she told me her name, the only daughter of Demeter, and I did not wish to cause Demeter the pain I felt at losing my only child. So I allowed her to stay only three days and three nights. I showed her every crevice of my realm because she came to appease her incredibly curious nature and I believed that would be the only time she could see it. Between the third night and the fourth morning, I called upon Hecate to take Persephone home to her mother. I confess, I was lonely without her even after that first visit. The memory of her beautiful laughter bouncing off the cavern walls and the scent of wildflowers and sunshine that lingered long after Hecate and I forced her to go was almost unbearably painful for me but I put it out of my mind, knowing she would never come again.”
         “A month later, at the time of the dark moon, she came. Once more she stood before me naked as nothing can be brought into my realm with someone who does not belong there or who cannot travel there alone. Once again her blue green eyes turned blue-black and her red hair turned dark brown. And once more, she begged me to let her stay. This time it was clear that the Underworld was not what she was curious about. I had a few lovers before Ashera, though none that I ever loved, and none of them were maidens. But with my lack of experience in such young women, I was taken aback by how brazen she was with what she wanted from me. She made it quite clear that she wanted kisses and warm embraces. It took all of my self control to restrain myself from giving her exactly what she wanted. My hands ached to touch her young beautiful body. She was perfect in every way. But I told her she was too young. I told her she had no idea what she wanted, that she did not belong in the realm of the dead and she certainly did not belong with me. I was terribly cold toward her. I was condescending and rude. I tried all I could to turn her against me. And in between the third night and the fourth morning, while she slept like a beautiful dream I did not want to wake from, lying beside of the River of Lost Souls, I carried back up to her grieving mother, leaving her in her field of wildflowers believing, again, that it would be the last time I saw her.”
           “Of course, she returned. Month after month she came with no explanation for how she was getting to the realm that only two other Gods in our entire family were able to travel to. At first I tried to keep up with my gentle mistreatment of her but she was so innocent, so precious, so goddamn beautiful and kind, that I simply could not do it. Each time she came, she took with her another piece of my heart and each time it was harder and harder to force her out. Meanwhile, Demeter was raising hell in Olympus, demanding the other Gods do something about me. She tried to launch a full scale attack on me. If not for the testimony of Hecate, Hermes, and even Persephone herself, who knows what might have happened. She accused me of many heinous things, rape among them. Meanwhile, I refused to even kiss her daughter despite the fact that she did everything she could to get me to take her innocence. And she was all too happy to voice her frustration before the court that was convened to discuss my guilt. She also told them that she would continue to come to me, that she was mad with love for me and she knew I was in love with her as well, and she asserted confidently that she would be my bride in time.”
         “After that trial, on the first night of the dark moon, Demeter chained her only daughter up to keep her from coming to me. But when she woke in the morning, Persephone was with me. Again, the girl refused to tell me who helped her break those chains and who brought her down to me. Each time I asked, she only laughed her pure mirthful laugh. That was the visit where she kissed me. It was the sweetest kiss of my life, full of want and need but also uncertainty. There was a desperation in it for us both. I allowed her to sleep in my arms those three nights but still, before the fourth morning, she was returned to her field of flowers. This went on for years. The idea that I raped and kidnapped my beloved wife is nearly funny in light of the truth. If anything, that first time we made love, she came rather close to raping me. But in the end, I submitted to her of my own freewill and it was a beautiful culmination of all of her years of chasing me. After that, I could not bring myself to take her away. Even if I would’ve tried, I would not have succeeded. You see, Persephone had a secret.”
          “There is not a great deal of things that grow in the land of the dead but there are apple trees and pomegranates that thrive in the land below. If someone who is living eats an apple there, the side effect of it is knowledge of all that’s been, all that is, and all that might be. If someone eats a pomegranate, the side effect is that no one can force them from my realm unless they are willing to leave and they may freely come and go from my realm as they wish if they eat the seeds as well, which she did, six to be exact.”
       “Those who eat of this fruit can remain in my realm, suspended somewhere between life and death, in the place where time stops, for eternity if they so choose, as that is the place where time stops as your world knows it. Because of that, it was once considered the fruit of immortality. This is a well kept secret, even among the Gods. There are few indeed who know this and while I have never had her confirm this either, I have always suspected it was Hecate who told her. I believe she saw that Persephone was truly in love with me and she knew that I loved her. She’s always thought of my happiness. As the years went by, she saw that I was lonely when Persephone was gone, that I started relying on the company of the lost souls, which was not good for the souls or for me. She knew it would be best if I had my love with me. It was only when the fourth night came and I did not try to take her back above that Persephone told me her secret. I was both elated and terrified. Somehow knowing I could not return her to the care of her mother made our love truly real for me for the first time.”
          “On the first night of the next new moon, we were married. It was just after the time now known as the harvest moon, the full moon closest to the date you know as the Autumn Equinox, though until that time, there was no such thing as Autumn. Not as you know it. There was no winter as you know it. Things slowed down on earth, yes, but they did not go to sleep completely. We journeyed to Olympus for the wedding and Persephone begged her mother to come but she would not even speak to her only child. This pained my beloved so that I tried to change Demeter’s mind but she hated me for what she believed I’d done. She thought I bewitched her daughter with the help of Hecate and, indeed, she blamed Hecate every bit as much as she blamed me. Even after all the years of Persephone chasing me, even though she was always honest about her love for me, Demeter still did not believe it was true. She could not imagine anyone who loved the sunshine and wildflowers as Persephone does also loving the darkness and the souls of the dead...or the man that ruled such a land. But that is the duality that has always been inside of my wife. Demeter, like many parents I suppose, focused only on what she could relate to about her daughter without acknowledging the parts of her that seemed foreign to Demeter’s own nature.”
         “I am sure you know what happened after the two of us returned to the Underworld as husband and wife. It was the death of all living things on earth for the first time and humans and Gods alike were terrified. Hecate came to us as soon as it became clear that Demeter was not going to be reasonable about the situation. She would not be satisfied with visits lasting a few hours whenever her daughter made time for her. She wanted her back. But this was not like before when I thought I was protecting a sweet maiden from making a choice she might regret. I refused to turn out my own wife. I also knew that losing another woman I loved as I once loved Ashera would destroy me. Still, none of us wanted to see all life on earth die either. It was Hecate who went between the Underworld and earth bartering with Demeter and it was Hecate who brought to us the best deal she could strike with my mother in law. Six months of the year Persephone would be the Queen of the Underworld and the other half of the year, she would be the Princess of All Living Things in the sunshine and fields of flowers playing as she once did with her mother.”
        “For millions of years that has been the way of things. Each eve of the Spring Equinox, my wife and I hold on to one another as if we will never see each other again. We make love and we weep and we make love again. It is heartbreaking. You see, while I am free to cross realms, part of our deal with Demeter states that letters are the only contact we are allowed while Persephone is with her mother. I have a cavern of pure clear crystals that Hecate enchanted to show me my wife but she cannot see me and we cannot speak to one another. There are only our letters. Then, when the Autumn Equinox comes, my beloved bride returns home to me again. After half a human year, I am but hours away from having her in my arms. And instead of preparing our home for her return, I am here grappling with a hatred I cannot push down.”
        “I only recently learned that my original queen is in fact very much alive. She was trapped all of this time in a cave in Delphi where, long ago, she was used as an oracle by many in Greece. Zeus was told of a prophecy when Ashera was carrying our son that made him believe Lucius would be more power than he is. It did not say my son would use that power to do my brother harm. But it didn’t have to. Just knowing Lucius might have more power than he has was enough to destroy my happiness and the lives of the woman I loved and the only child I ever sired. I also learned that Zeus coerced Artemis into claiming my son raped her so he would be thrown out of Olympus and denied access to his homeland ever again. The two were madly in love and when she came to him, torn between her vow to remain without love and the love she found in Lucius, instead of helping his daughter, he broke her heart to protect himself. I know Hecate is asking us to pull together, not only with Gods from all over the world, but also with each other to defeat the evil that’s coming and I believe her promise that Zeus will be dealt with after this war is won, but it seems impossible that I can fight at his side knowing what I now know.”
         “It is more than just Zeus, however. I must tell my wife that the woman who was once my queen, the woman I’ve told her all about since our first three days together, the woman she knows I grieved for centuries, is actually alive after all. I do not want to hurt Ashera. She never wronged me in any way. And I certainly do not want to hurt Persephone. Ashera and I did not speak of the years since we saw each other last. I could not believe it when she entered Olympus and I saw her before me...after all of the years I waited and grieved. It is another impossible situation Zeus has put us all in. I will not leave Persephone. I am not saying that. It is just that...if Ashera does not already know...it will tear out my heart to see such pain on her face and to know that I caused it.”
          Emily sighed. She felt terrible for Hades. He was certainly nothing like the God most people believed him to be. It made sense that the attitude of the dominant religions toward death made it easier for the lies to stick when it came to the God of the Underworld. There was also all that talk of the devil that came later that also helped the misconceptions, no doubt. But the man before her was exactly what Pagans would expect from the Comforter and Consoler. Zeus, on the other hand, was a monster and she hoped that, when the Gods defeated whatever evil was to come, they did indeed bring Zeus to justice at long last for all of the pain he caused those who loved him, human and immortal alike. Just as she pondered this, something hit her. “Didn’t you say Ashera was once the Oracle of Delphi?”
         “Yes, it seems she was.” Hades replied.
        “And can she see the future or things that she should not know?” Emily questioned.
       “Most certainly she can. Many vampires that were humans know things psychically so, as the first vampire of this realm and an Atlantian as well, Ashera’s psychic visions are really something. Why do you ask?”
          Emily gave it a moment to see if it would hit him and when he said nothing, she went on with her thought. “If she is that powerful with her visions, with her love for you as great as it was, I am sure she knows you are remarried, even if she doesn’t know the story we humans are familiar with. Did she act like a wife toward you when you saw her?”
         Hades pondered this a moment before responding softly, “No, not at all. By god, I think you may be right. Should I sit down with her and say it out loud just to be sure, do you suppose?”
         “You could certainly do that and once you know she is prepared and you’ve seen her reaction to the news, once you’ve told Persephone as well, perhaps the three of you and your son could have a nice little dinner in your realm or in Olympus. Lucius should get to know the three of you as his immediate family. He deserves that and so do all of you. You gave him to his uncle in the best of faith. Make that clear to him. Be honest with him about why you let him stay with Zeus so he knows he was not abandoned. As far as the anger, perhaps you should try, for now, to focus on the things you have gained, not the immense loss their absence caused in your life at the hands of your brother. Your beautiful loving wife is coming home to you after half a year. The first love of your life, though no longer your wife, is alive and well when you thought she was dead. And all of you may have a real chance at having a positive healthy relationship with your  child. He may be grown but he is still your son. Zeus does deserve to pay for all that he’s done to every one of you in your family. It seems every Greek deity that comes through my door has a long list of terrible things your brother has done to them. Win your war and I doubt Hecate will turn a blind eye to him anymore. She is only biding her time as she said. So try not to waste your energy on him. He would be thrilled to know that he is ruining your reunion with your wife, son, and your ex wife, so don’t let him have that satisfaction. He strikes me as someone who would be very upset if you were all to get together and be happy in each other’s company.”
         For the first time since he came in, Hades smiled an absolutely brilliant smile. It seemed Hermes took that trait from his uncle as well. All of this talk of love and loss was making her miss Hermes so much she thought she heard his voice a moment earlier. “You are correct, Dr. Emily. Thank you so much. You have given me hope that all will be well after all. Regardless of how it goes, I will come back soon with an update for you. And again, I cannot thank you enough for what you’ve said to me today. I hope your harvest is full of fresh fruits of all sorts, literally and figuratively. You had a busy planting season as well, it seemed.” Again he smiled as he stood and stuck his hand out. Standing up herself, she winced at the pain in her lower back but she stuck out her hand to shake his none the less. As she did, a peace and a certainty that everything in the world that was wrong would soon be made right washed over her in a shower of golden energy, making her feel warm and at ease and completely alive. When she told him it was a pleasure to have met him, she meant that with her whole heart. He was a wonderful soul.
        As she held her office door open to let Hades out, her heart grew two sizes at seeing Hermes standing in the waiting room at Hecate’s side. Emily wished Hades the best of luck and he wished her the same, grinning at the smile on her face at spotting his nephew. While he and Hermes shook hands, he embraced his nephew, whispering something in his ear that made Hermes look at Emily and smile brightly. Only after Hades and Hecate were gone did she ask Hermes what Hades said to him. Carrying her purse and her case of things to go over for tomorrow’s cases, Hermes locked the office door for her and he took her hand, replying, “He said I need to bring you to the Underworld if I must but I have to find a way to keep you forever. He likes you a great deal. And he’s such a good soul. I made you dinner. I took it all out of that funny little book you have on Pagan holidays. I also found your decorations and I brought them up from your basement for you. I was going to decorate before I realized I have no idea how to decorate. But I’ll help with whatever you need. I also found that movie, Maleficent, the one you say you watch each Autumn Equinox, on one of your on demand channels. Oh, and I cleared our schedules for tomorrow. Unless there is an emergency, neither of us have any work to do until the celebration is over. Now that you are working Sundays and you are rather far along in this pregnancy, no one gets angry when I call them to say you’ve cleared your calendar to rest. I intend to spend the next day and half with you completely uninterrupted by anything else.”

         His kiss was so sweet, she didn’t argue with him about who was going to drive. Sometimes it was helpful to be with the messenger God and when you decided at the last moment not to go to work the following day was one of those times. While they drove in the hot muggy afternoon, she couldn’t help but reach over and take his free hand. She had not meant to go to bed with him when they first met and she certainly never dreamed she would fall in love with him. But it was as if she loved him for more years than there were grains of sand on the shore of the ocean. She could not imagine how hard it was for Hades to turn down such love over and over again for years but she couldn’t help but blush and smile to think that he was far more a gentleman than his nephew. However, they both reminded her of romantic poets. They both had wonderful good looks, a calm nature, and a soothing presence. She was grateful to have met Hades. Any fear she had left over of death from her beliefs as a child were now gone. She had no desire to join Hades and Persephone as a Lost Soul anytime soon but when her time came, if that was the worst case scenario, death would not be so bad after all.

Friday, June 21, 2019

Artemis Has a Secret (The Gods in Therapy)

   Emily could not say that she felt great when she was “allowed” by her Goddess midwife Hecate to return to her office after she miscarried one of the twins she carried. But she felt as if those she helped had been incredibly patient throughout her two weeks of recovery, often coming to bring her gifts of flowers, food, and wine (apparently fetal alcohol syndrome did not affect Gods...Emily accepted the wine with gratitude before stashing it away for a time when she was not carrying a demi-god in her womb) and they often sat with her, watching her trashy television shows and talking about life. The company was wonderful, all things considered. Hermes was still at her house a lot of the time, although they were not really talking about anything that mattered. She wondered how long they could go on like that, spending hours on end together without addressing the giant elephant in the room? Then again, she was treating his entire family who, for the most part, went millions of years without any form of proper communication so clearly the answer was ‘Until Emily Pointed to the Giant Elephant and Asked Him What it Was’. Emily just wasn’t in the right emotional state for that. She felt like she was run down by an emotional semi-truck. But work was always her happy place. So it felt like a great escape to sit in her comfortable old chair that had an indent from her ass in it, her coffee on one side of her and her tablet and ink pen on the other. Even before the day started, she should’ve known better. Never knowing anymore who was going to walk through her door (except Thor who was very prompt about his four p.m. appointments every Thursday) meant Emily never knew what she was going to hear...or what it would force her to confront.
         Emily was again put in a position of not knowing who her client was when a young woman with the same black hair and blue eyes as all of the Olympians she met had, wearing a beautiful tunic style dress with leggings that came down to go into where the woman wore a pair of black boots up to the knee that looked quite a bit like motorcycle boots, even though it was about ninety degrees outside and the dress was plenty long enough to wear by itself. When she took a seat silently, she carried with her the pleasant but strong scent of jasmine and honeysuckle, as if Emily were suddenly transported to a garden. If the air about her and the fact that she walked in without knocking, or the fact that she carried with her a large bow and on her back she wore a quiver full of silver arrows, if the physical resemblance to her half siblings were not enough to tell Emily this was a Goddess (a Greek at that), that strong scent she carried would’ve done it. “Hello. I’m Dr. Emily Liberman and I am a psychiatrist who now specializes in…”
         The woman’s smile was beautiful but there seemed to be sorrow in her eyes. “I know who you are. That is why I’ve come. I’ve held a secret in my heart for so long, I fear it has turned into a valve, as integral to my being as my arm. But I also know that I am going to be called upon to finally tell the truth...If you can turn to Hera and show her no judgement, if you could transform her into a loving step-mother to all of us she once openly despised, I feel like, human though you are, you might be the best person to confess this terrible secret to.”
         Grabbing her legal pad and a pharmaceutical pen (the only thing she would accept from anyone associated with the evil pharmaceutical companies) she scrolled on the top ‘Artemis Has a Secret!!!’ circling this statement three times. Moving her rolling chair around to the side of her desk, she said softly, “There is no judgement in this room. I am here to help anyone who needs it, even if all you need is someone to hear your worst confession.”
        Again, she smiled that sad smile. Chewing on her thumbnail in a very human way, Artemis shook her head as if she had to compose herself first. Making eye contact again, she seemed resolved at last. “First, let’s talk about you. Would that be alright?”
          “If it would help to put you at ease, that’s fine.” Although the DSM and the Code of Ethics both warned against sharing personal information, Emily found throughout the years that sometimes, hearing how fucked up her life was helped others.
         Emily was stunned to hear Artemis go through her entire life (the cliff note version) leading right up to the night she found herself having a miscarriage surronded by Goddesses and pain… “But there is a demi-Goddess growing in your womb still and a heaviness in your heart around the one who made you with child. So perhaps, even if you are appalled by what I did, you might understand a little. Are you ready to hear it?”
        “Are you ready to share it?” Emily questioned softly in return.
       Closing her eyes, Artemis took a deep breath. Before her story started, the tears were falling. But she kept the pain from her voice magically as she told a tale of love and betrayal of the ultimate degree. “There is a member of the family that has been kept out of the records, the stories, the myths. He was the black sheep from birth. We were all told his mother was a soulless bloodsucking monster, allegedly one the first kind of vampires on earth, and his father was Hades. We were told that Zeus took him in out of the kindness of his heart. We should’ve known then that the story was bullshit. But we believed it. Like we believed that Athena sprang from his head. Never did we question these outrageous stories. Anyway, he grew up with us in Olympus and he and I were always very close. Sometimes it bothered Apollo, who felt I should spend every moment of my time with him always and alone. But I loved Lucius, first as a dear friend who hunted alongside me and then, as we grew and we started to awaken as a woman and a man, something happened between us. For the longest time I held off the feelings in my heart. I knew from a very early age that I did not want children. Unlike Athena, who was a virgin in the sense that she never married and never intended to, I was a virgin of today’s definition and I meant to always remain that way.”
         “At first I pulled away from him, allowing Apollo to chase him off each time he came to see me. For hours I would lay on the floor and weep because my heart missed him so much. He was my best friend! He knew things about me Apollo still does not know and Apollo and I shared a womb! Then one night, under a beautiful big full moon, I broke. I had to see him but more than that, I had to have him. I went to him specifically for the purpose of making him my lover. He made not one move, he did not give me so much as one kiss, without my consent. Night after night we met, my vows the farthest thing from my mind, any sort of consequences gone just as far from my thoughts. There was only Lucius and me under that beautiful Olympus moon. The air was always gentle, the grapes were always fragrant, and the wine always flowed. For years this went on. It was the one secret in that damned place...probably because Aphrodite never discovered us. But then I became with child. I was terrified! Even though my vows were not necessary to anything I did, they meant something to me and I was ashamed that I did not keep them. Athena always made it clear where she stood. She would never marry, she would never bear children, but she would have as many lovers as she damn well pleased and no one had better say a word against it. No one ever did. Truth be told, no one cared. But that was not my position! No man would ever touch me, no god would ever use my body, and I allowed just that!”
       “I knew I did not want the child. I also knew that if Lucius knew I was pregnant and I did away with the pregnancy, it would break his heart. I didn’t want that. I swear upon my mother, I did not want to hurt him ever! He was the best friend I have ever had! But I had to go to Hecate to get rid of the child and because of my well known position on the matter and because it is her way, when I refused at first to tell her the name of the father, she assumed the worst. Until the trial I never actually said that he raped me. She just assumed. As soon as the abortion was over, she got me coming out of antistetics and I told her it was Lucius. She immediately ran to Athena for a trial, which I was relieved about. The only one who loved Lucius more than I did was Athena so I thought he would be safe. I forgot how goddamn fair she is! At the trial, in front of every deity of the Upper Realm, with my beloved sitting there being demonized as a rapist of the Virgin Huntress, I was asked if he raped me. I could’ve told the truth. I should’ve told the truth. I knew that then and I know it now. But I was protecting my pride. So I lied. I still believed Athena would fix things for me, that there was no way she could throw her favorite cousin out of Olympus for all time. But, sure as hell, she did.”
         Artemis finally ran her hand over her tear-soaked face, wiping off the evidence of the pain she carried. Emily handed her a tissue and she took her hand while Artemis went on. “That was the worst week of my entire existence. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I wake up out of a dead sleep soaked in sweat with the moment I condemned him or the moment he was cast out fresh on my mind. He lives still, as I said. When he was cast out, his mother’s vampire nature was awakened in him and, until very recently, we believed him to be the oldest vampire on this earth. But that’s all been ripped apart with the brutal truth we were hit with as of late. It was my father who pushed me to condemn Lucius and all of this time I believed it was because he loved me so. It was not. Although I can’t quite see his angle, I do know that it had everything to do with his plans for Lucius. So I cast out the man I love even now, the only man I’ve ever truly loved, for a bastard who does not seem to care for anyone but himself. And I need to apologize. But how do you apologize for that?”
        Emily’s heart broke for the Goddess before her. She was genuinely sorry for the incredible mistake she made but how could she get her former lover to hear that after the way her mistake ruined his life. “You can try to tell Lucius the way you feel, how sorry you are for what you’ve done, but just know that he may not yet be in a place to hear you. You can ask him to listen, and he might, but you cannot force him to accept what you have to say. The woman in me wants to tell you to keep at it until he listens. But the doctor in me knows that will do you no good. Just keep that in mind. Be gentle and prepare yourself for the truth that he may not be ready.”
      Artemis nodded, smiling that heartbroken smile as if she already accepted defeat. Squeezing Emily’s hand, Artemis stood up and she grabbed her bow. “Thank you, Emily. I won’t forget that it was you who first heard my secret and that you were kind to me still. Can I say something to help you as you’ve helped me?”
        “I don’t know that I was very helpful but you can say whatever you want to say anyway.” Emily replied honestly.
         “You helped lighten the massive load of hurt in my heart and that was more helpful than you know. Until you’ve wronged someone, hurt someone you love in a way that completely changes their life as I did, you cannot know the burden of that knowledge. Just sharing it...I feel lighter. Hermes knows he hurt you and it hurts him very much. I am not sure who you are or how you’ve worked the magic you’ve worked with my family, but I do know this. Hermes loves you as I have never seen him love anyone else...and he has children with the Goddess of love so that is pretty incredible. He knows he hurt you. But around you, all of his skill with words seems to disappear. He doesn’t know how to tell you that he’s sorry. He stays at your home hoping you will allow him back in your heart but eventually he will determine the mistake was too big for forgiveness. So if you can forgive him, do it before he’s gone. I want to see him happy. I want to see the little demi-Goddess born of your womb. I want to see the three of you work out a life. But first you must forgive him his tresspasses against you.”
          Emily finished out the day on autopilot. Her morning sickness was becoming all-damn-day sickness, getting worse instead of better, and her head hurt like hell. But when she found Hermes in her house waiting for her with dinner ready and a bottle of wine she had to pass up, she knew the time had come. She only had two choices. Fix it or end it. Purgatory was not meant to be pleasant and it was time she pulled them both out of it. Sitting across from him at her kitchen table, she said softly, “The night I lost our son, when I realized you knew what was going to happen and you said nothing, it was like a knife slicing my heart. But when you left me alone in that room to wake up that way by myself, only coming to me behind Hecate and never coming directly to me, it absolutely destroyed my heart. I know now that you thought you were doing the right thing, rushing to get her and allowing her to do her work. But as much as I needed to be held by Hecate in that tub...I also needed you! Don’t you see that? I needed you!”

       The sobs that wracked Emily’s body were just as raw as they were on that horrible long night...only this time Hermes did come to her and he did wrap his arms around her, pulling her out of the kitchen chair to hold her right on that wooden floor of the dining room. The horrible rejection she felt the night she lost the baby was not erased in that moment. Everything between them would not be fixed by one embrace, no matter how genuine it was. But it was a great start. And it sent that goddamn elephant in the room packing off to someone else’s house. While Emily lay in bed that night with Hermes sleeping at her side, she couldn’t help but think of poor Artemis. There was no way to deny that she was wrong in what she did. However, Emily always liked to believe in second chances and she kept the hope in her heart that everyone, God, mortal, and monster alike, also believed in it.

Monday, June 17, 2019

'This Woman's Work' (The Gods in Therapy)


  Emily awoke in the middle of the night with a sharp terrible pain in her lower back and in her lower abdomen. Something was wrong. She knew that. Hermes wasn’t in bed with her anymore so she knew it was up to her to get to the bathroom that was directly off to her right. As the pain continued, increasing with each moment, she wondered if perhaps she wasn’t in labor. I mean, three weeks ago Hecate told her there was no way to predict how fast the baby would grow or when it would come. Was it possible? She never carried a pregnancy to term before so she had no idea. But as she held on to anything she could grab in order to make it to the bathroom, she considered the possibility terrifying. She also considered the alternative absolutely horrifying. If she wasn’t in labor...what was wrong? Screaming for Hecate, she curled up in a ball as soon as she reached the bathroom floor. She needed to sit on the toilet, to see if there was any blood. To be an American woman having a miscarriage was dangerous enough at this point but to have a miscarriage the doctors don’t understand? She would go to prison for sure! Again she screamed for Hecate, her real mother, her true mother, the one who nurtured and guided her most of her life...She felt as if this was news that had to come from Her and Emily would deal with the consequences from there.
         Oya appeared looking extremely somber with Oshun at her side. The two women helped Emily to get on the toilet and Oya held her hand as she looked down and saw all of the blood on the inside of her legs and inside of her underwear. “This could mean anything...maybe I’m in labor!” Emily cried out. She wanted so much to believe that.
        “If you were in labor, it would be the water, the source of life, that came from your body, not the blood. I am sorry, child. That baby is gone.”
         Emily let her upper body fall into Oya’s arms, beautiful Goddess of death and the sorrows of women, Goddess of those who lost their babies, and Emily sobbed as she never had before. Emily really wanted to be a mother this time. She had the money and the patience and she would do what she had to do to make the time...She was already thinking of names and picking out things for a nursery. She was ready! This wasn’t like the last time, when she was a very poor seventeen year old girl with a drug addict for a mom and a dad that was long gone...Hermes may not have been perfect but he was much better than the rich twenty six year old that got her pregnant back then. His parents paid for her abortion because having their son get a girl like her pregnant was a disgrace to their good name. And then she was left alone to face that cold table and her sudden reality. But she knew it was for the best...for both herself and that clump of cells in her body. She had no way to care for a child, a child that  would’ve ended up struggling just as she struggled. This time was different, though. This was real. And she felt pain in her heart unlike anything she ever felt before.
          Oshun ran her a hot bath while Oya sang to her a song she couldn’t understand. It seemed to go well with her gut wrenching cries, though, and for a moment she focused on the blending of sounds coming from both of them...anything to take her mind off of what was happening. And where the hell was Hermes?
        When Oya felt like Emily could stand, she helped her to the tub while Oshun stood with the cup Emily often washed her long hair with in her hand. They helped her into the bath and as she sat down, feeling the hot water ease her cramps almost immediately, there was a knock at the door. Hecate came in quickly but Emily noticed Hermes behind his aunt looking as if his heart was also breaking...and that is when it hit her. He already knew. He acted strange the past couple of weeks, as if he were coddling her. He spent every night with her, even waking her up in the morning with breakfast or coffee. And now she understood. He did not do these things out of love. He did them because he knew their connection was absolutely temporary. But when she looked away from him, all she could see was the blood turning the water a horrible shade of pink and she let out another wail that brought him running. She jerked her body away from him, barely comprehending what Hecate was telling her. “What?” Emily questioned.
        “I need you to lean back. I have to close your cervix. You’ve lost the boy, which is what I assumed at your check up, but the girl lives...unless your womb remains open. A human has enough trouble carrying a demi-god when there is one. Few can carry two. I was hoping I was wrong but…” Stroking Emily’s hair, Hecate closed her eyes and gently shoved Emily back until Hecate could touch the place on her abdomen that housed her womb. All hope was not lost. Emily's baby girl still lived inside of her. It seemed strange to grieve for a child she didn’t know she was carrying but she couldn’t help the tears that fell while Hecate chanted something. A strange feeling spread across Emily’s uterus and up until Emily could feel the power where the baby’s umbilical cord connected her to Emily’s life force.  Again there was that subtle feeling, as if the tiny fetus was responding to Hecate’s magic. After a tense moment, Hecate smiled a brilliant smile and she let out a sigh of relief. “As it stands right now, on this night, if nothing changes in there, this baby will live.” With her robes and all, Hecate climbed in the large jacuzzi tub and she sat behind Emily, holding her like the partners in lamaze videos. “Your baby girl will most likely live but that does not take away from the pain of losing her brother. I am sorry for that pain. I am sorry I said nothing. I did not want to alarm you if it was merely a cyst or something of that sort.”
         In that moment, with Oya holding her hand, Hecate holding her body, and Oshun pouring water over her again and again as if to purify her and make her ready once more to carry the life she had left inside of her, she looked over at Hermes and she saw him sitting helplessly on the side of the tub. It hit her then the full weight of what men stole from women when they broke apart the ancient circle of women raising all of the children together, sharing problems no man could understand, helping each other through births and deaths and everything in between. No man knew what she felt in her heart as she sobbed in that tub...but Oya knew. She went through it nine times before she got her babies from their birth mother. Even when Emily was seventeen, without truly having anything but a strong feeling to go on, the only comfort she took on the horrible day of her abortion was that she knew Hecate was there with her, her real mother, her real guide. In her ear Hecate whispered, “I’ve been with thee from the beginning…”
        “And I am that which is attained at the end of desire.” Emily whispered back the line in the full Charge of the Goddess. “I still have the baby I knew about and you said she is doing fine...I didn’t know he was there...how didn’t I know he was there and why does my heart hurt so much for a baby I didn’t know I was carried?”
        Hecate gently rubbed Emily’s lower abdomen as she replied, “You have emotionally invested in your womb, in the fruit of that womb, in the children you’ve created out of love. I will bet that part of you knew...maybe deep down inside...because you are connected to this pregnancy. But he wasn’t forming the way he should. And whether you knew it or not, that was the fruit of your womb! Your baby as you would’ve declared him to be if you knew! Of course it hurts, my child. And you need to let that sorrow flow like your blood into this water and allow Oshun to purify you to make you ready to carry new life. Can you do that? Try to gather as much of  that pain as you can and let your tears flow freely. It will be a few days in bed for you after this night. I will be sure to inform the deities you see that you are not to be bothered with their problems this week. I know Hera would be more than happy to come and help nurse you back to health, as would Athena, and Aphrodite. Aphrodite is a good girl even if she does open her mouth a bit too much...like that one there…” She pointed to Hermes. “...she almost always means well. Oya has already come for you as Oshun has. So let us care for you. Let us make you well again.”
        After the Goddesses helped her from the bath, the water was immediately washed down the drain and Oshun stayed behind to clear the tub of any and all negativity. Once Emily was wearing her thick white robe (the color of bone and death to the ancient people), the Goddesses left her alone with Hermes. It was her chance to confront him and to do what she felt she had to do. “You knew about this child and you knew that I would lose him and you kept it from me, didn’t you?” Emily asked softly. “You’ve known since that day Hecate came to my office.”
        “I’ve known since the night before. I felt his weak life force and I felt it draining away from him. I am the reason Hecate came to you on that day.” Hermes answered honestly.
        When he reached for her hand, she yanked it away. Nodding her head, she declared, “We, as a...whatever we were...are done. There will be no more of us together in any way. I may need your help during the pregnancy since I have no idea what may come carrying a child that is half yours, you are welcomed to be there when Hecate checks my womb, and I’ll allow you in the room when I give birth to our daughter. Once she is born, we will work out a fair way to co-parent. I want you in her life. I really do. But there is no room left in my life for you as it relates to me. The fact that you knew I was pregnant and you said nothing was bad enough, but the fact that you did not tell me I was carrying a fetus that I was going to lose…? That is beyond unforgivable. I think you believed I would lose them both and that was the reason for all of the kindness you’ve shown me these past three weeks. But I have no use for someone who cares about me only because I am pregnant with his child. I want to be loved...truly loved.”
         Emily knew she made a huge mistake as soon as she saw the pain rise up into his eyes. Her words cut deeper than any knife and she saw that on his face but she felt as if there was no going back. “You think I don’t love you?” When Emily turned away, he took that as a yes. Really she was just trying to hide her tears. “You are wrong. You are so so wrong. I do love that you are carrying my child but I do not love you just because you carry my child. I’ve loved you since the moment we met. I knew this was something special. Apparently it was only something special for me.” She felt the mattress shift when Hermes stood up and she knew if she was going to fix this she had to say something in that moment. “Very well. I will be back to check on you soon. Listen to Auntie Hecate. She knows her stuff. And try to rest. You need it.” There was a voice in Emily’s head screaming, ‘Tell him to stay! Tell him you love him and you want him to stay!’ but she just listened to his footsteps walk across the floor to the door. She knew he paused in the doorway and again, part of her was begging her to stop her bullshit. Instead, she let him go and she felt another piece of her shattered heart go with him.
       Aphrodite heard of Emily’s loss and she came to check on her. She didn’t mean to hear the conversation Emily had with Hermes but she couldn’t help herself when she heard Emily’s accusation from just outside the doorway. Grabbing her best friend by the arm as soon as he exited that room, she pulled him to the side so the patient inside wouldn’t hear her. Hermes looked absolutely defeated as he stared at her and it broke her heart to see him like that. But it was Emily she was most concerned with. “Don’t leave her, Hermes. She doesn’t mean what she says. Her heart is broken. Yes, it was your child too but it’s different for her. She had to blame someone so she blamed you. That’s ok. But if you leave her like this, you will never be able to fix this.”
         “She told me to go. I cannot force her to endure my company.” Hermes replied softly.
      “No, you can’t. So sleep on the damn couch. If she tells you to go after her heart and her mind have healed, then go. But tonight? Find a way to stay and give her enough space to breathe. Auntie Hecate is in the kitchen right now discussing with Hera what to do in Olympus in her absence because she is planning to stay for a while. Ask her what you can do. When Emily falls asleep, go lay on the floor beside of her bed and hold her hand if she allows it. But please...don’t leave her.”
       He trusted Aphrodite’s advice. She was the Goddess of love, after all. But more than that, she was once exactly where Emily was. When she still lived with that bastard almost-ex husband of her’s, she got pregnant by Ares. She was planning her escape for the sake of herself and her child when that bastard beat her until she lost that baby she wanted so badly. When Aphrodite told Hermes what happened, it was he who was there for her. He even made sure he told Ares, who beat Hephaestus within an inch of his life. But it was Hermes, not Ares, who sat at Aphrodite’s bedside day and night until she was better. How he could he not do that for Emily? Hugging Aphrodite to him, he kissed her cheek and he thanked her. He knew if there was anything left to save between him and Emily, Aphrodite would help him save it.

        When Emily awoke, it was early in the afternoon. Each of her bedside tables had beautiful purple roses sitting on them in vases she did not recognize but, strangest of all, Hermes slept in a ball beside of her bed and in her sleep she let him keep her hand in his. Everything came rushing back to her along with the truth. He loved her. And she loved him. So what was she doing turning him out? The rational part of her brain knew what she was doing. There was no hope of a future for them. But the part of her that was still raw and wide open knew it didn’t matter. He stayed even when she told him to go, even when she was prepared to let him off the hook if he was only with her for the baby. Squeezing his hand, Emily used her free hand to wipe away the tears that fell. Whatever else they faced, he stayed. For a moment, that was enough.

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Emily Has Her First Pre-Natal Visit (The Gods in Therapy) *Includes natural recipe to induce labor*

*Includes a recipe for a tea that was said to induce labor for thousands of years...in case it is needed by anyone. Hecate and I have your back, women in Republican-taken-over-states
Hecate did not knock before she came in and, to Emily’s surprise, she simply sat down next to Thor as he told Emily about this new Goddess he was sleeping with from a different Pantheon, which was apparently unheard of. And because it seemed as if he wanted her to press him as to who it was, he obviously wanted to talk about it. But Emily could not think of anything with Hecate sitting there staring at her silently. Putting a hand up to stop the flow of Thor’s story, Emily cleared her throat, knowing better than to address Hecate with annoyance. “I am with a patient right now. I would hate to have you wait…”
       “Good.” Turning toward Thor, Hecate declared, “I am here to do a checkup to ensure that the first Demi-God to be born of a human in millions of years is developing properly. Please bear in mind that the human mother lives in a country where, in some states, even if someone found out that I gave her the ancient mixture of pennyroyal, black cohosh root, blue cohosh root, cotton root bark, mugwort, and queen’s anne lace, she would go to prison...even if the baby had no skull! Also keep in mind how difficult it is for a human to carry a Demi-God in her body. And we don’t know how far along the baby is because it grows as it pleases so every moment counts, Thor. While your affair with Athena is interesting, to say the least, I need to do my work now. I am very sorry that I interrupted you. I am. You know I am not rude by nature. It is just that every moment counts right now.”
        Thor looked at Hecate with his legendary hammer sitting between his legs and to Emily’s shock, he smiled. “I understand, Auntie. These human men and their deplorable laws make this something of great importance...and it lightens my heart to know a child of earth and Olympus will be born in this world again. I believe this world needs that. So I will leave you to your work. And Dr. Lieberman, I will see you next Thursday. I wish you many blessings with the halfling in your womb.”
         Emily thanked him, always amused by his way of saying things. After he walked out, Hecate shook her head. “My oh my. He has always meant well in what he does. However, even just to have sex, he is a strange match for Athena. She is logical to a fault and he has never let his head rule a decision he has ever made in his life! I cannot imagine they talk a lot after the deed is done.” Hecate shook her head as if she were dumbfounded. Then she directed her attention straight at Emily. “Well, my child, please come over here so I can check on our little one. Don’t worry. I have only to place my hand over your womb and I will know everything that is going on in there.”
       Emily was so nervous, her hands were shaking. She tried to prepare herself for whatever Hecate would tell her. She really wished for Hermes in that moment and that made her feel weak so she had no intention of voicing this desire. But she didn’t have to. As Hecate pulled down Emily’s waistband on her stretch pants, she declared, “Hermes is here. He is in the hall. He is a nervous wreck and he was afraid it would be bad news. He thought I would be able to comfort you better if it were. Now hush so I can see.” Emily was not about to point out that she never spoke. Instead she just closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. When Hecate touched her belly, Emily felt some of the power of her Matron flowing into her and she almost thought that she could feel the quickening of life inside of her, as if the fetus, barely formed at this point, were responding to Hecate’s touch. After a tense moment, Hecate smiled. “She is fine, my child. She is growing at a normal human rate for the moment although that does not mean she will continue to do so...and...wait a moment…” Hecate’s face turned very serious very quickly.
       “What? What’s wrong?” Emily was so worried about Hecate’s reaction that she totally missed the use of the pronoun ‘she’.
        After moving her hand around every inch of Emily’s belly and then cupping the belly on each side with each hand, Hecate looked her in the eye and she said, “She is fine. She is strong. And now you must be strong if you truly want to bring her into this world.” Kissing Emily’s belly like a happy aunt, she touched the belly one more time before going out in the hall.

       A moment later, Hermes walked in. He was grinning, but something about it seemed false. After begging Emily to take the rest of the day off, he insisted they go back to her place and order in some Chinese food. Somewhere along the way, Emily forgot Hecate’s reaction and the look on her lover’s face when he came into her office. She laughed at his off the wall jokes and she tried to explain to him why Teen Mom was an important show for young people to watch...and she basked in the glow of knowing she was having a baby girl. This seemed to please Hermes as well. By the time the two of them went to her bed, they were both ready for a little more than sleep and she basked in the glow of that as well. She intended to mark on her calendar the significance of that date and it was this last thought that she carried with her into sleep.