Artemis Has a Secret (The Gods in Therapy)

   Emily could not say that she felt great when she was “allowed” by her Goddess midwife Hecate to return to her office after she miscarried one of the twins she carried. But she felt as if those she helped had been incredibly patient throughout her two weeks of recovery, often coming to bring her gifts of flowers, food, and wine (apparently fetal alcohol syndrome did not affect Gods...Emily accepted the wine with gratitude before stashing it away for a time when she was not carrying a demi-god in her womb) and they often sat with her, watching her trashy television shows and talking about life. The company was wonderful, all things considered. Hermes was still at her house a lot of the time, although they were not really talking about anything that mattered. She wondered how long they could go on like that, spending hours on end together without addressing the giant elephant in the room? Then again, she was treating his entire family who, for the most part, went millions of years without any form of proper communication so clearly the answer was ‘Until Emily Pointed to the Giant Elephant and Asked Him What it Was’. Emily just wasn’t in the right emotional state for that. She felt like she was run down by an emotional semi-truck. But work was always her happy place. So it felt like a great escape to sit in her comfortable old chair that had an indent from her ass in it, her coffee on one side of her and her tablet and ink pen on the other. Even before the day started, she should’ve known better. Never knowing anymore who was going to walk through her door (except Thor who was very prompt about his four p.m. appointments every Thursday) meant Emily never knew what she was going to hear...or what it would force her to confront.

         Emily was again put in a position of not knowing who her client was when a young woman with the same black hair and blue eyes as all of the Olympians she met had, wearing a beautiful tunic style dress with leggings that came down to go into where the woman wore a pair of black boots up to the knee that looked quite a bit like motorcycle boots, even though it was about ninety degrees outside and the dress was plenty long enough to wear by itself. When she took a seat silently, she carried with her the pleasant but strong scent of jasmine and honeysuckle, as if Emily were suddenly transported to a garden. If the air about her and the fact that she walked in without knocking, or the fact that she carried with her a large bow and on her back she wore a quiver full of silver arrows, if the physical resemblance to her half siblings were not enough to tell Emily this was a Goddess (a Greek at that), that strong scent she carried would’ve done it. “Hello. I’m Dr. Emily Liberman and I am a psychiatrist who now specializes in…”

         The woman’s smile was beautiful but there seemed to be sorrow in her eyes. “I know who you are. That is why I’ve come. I’ve held a secret in my heart for so long, I fear it has turned into a valve, as integral to my being as my arm. But I also know that I am going to be called upon to finally tell the truth...If you can turn to Hera and show her no judgement, if you could transform her into a loving step-mother to all of us she once openly despised, I feel like, human though you are, you might be the best person to confess this terrible secret to.”

         Grabbing her legal pad and a pharmaceutical pen (the only thing she would accept from anyone associated with the evil pharmaceutical companies) she scrolled on the top ‘Artemis Has a Secret!!!’ circling this statement three times. Moving her rolling chair around to the side of her desk, she said softly, “There is no judgement in this room. I am here to help anyone who needs it, even if all you need is someone to hear your worst confession.”

        Again, she smiled that sad smile. Chewing on her thumbnail in a very human way, Artemis shook her head as if she had to compose herself first. Making eye contact again, she seemed resolved at last. “First, let’s talk about you. Would that be alright?”

          “If it would help to put you at ease, that’s fine.” Although the DSM and the Code of Ethics both warned against sharing personal information, Emily found throughout the years that sometimes, hearing how fucked up her life was helped others.

         Emily was stunned to hear Artemis go through her entire life (the cliff note version) leading right up to the night she found herself having a miscarriage surronded by Goddesses and pain… “But there is a demi-Goddess growing in your womb still and a heaviness in your heart around the one who made you with child. So perhaps, even if you are appalled by what I did, you might understand a little. Are you ready to hear it?”

        “Are you ready to share it?” Emily questioned softly in return.

       Closing her eyes, Artemis took a deep breath. Before her story started, the tears were falling. But she kept the pain from her voice magically as she told a tale of love and betrayal of the ultimate degree. “There is a member of the family that has been kept out of the records, the stories, the myths. He was the black sheep from birth. We were all told his mother was a soulless bloodsucking monster, allegedly one the first kind of vampires on earth, and his father was Hades. We were told that Zeus took him in out of the kindness of his heart. We should’ve known then that the story was bullshit. But we believed it. Like we believed that Athena sprang from his head. Never did we question these outrageous stories. Anyway, he grew up with us in Olympus and he and I were always very close. Sometimes it bothered Apollo, who felt I should spend every moment of my time with him always and alone. But I loved Lucius, first as a dear friend who hunted alongside me and then, as we grew and we started to awaken as a woman and a man, something happened between us. For the longest time I held off the feelings in my heart. I knew from a very early age that I did not want children. Unlike Athena, who was a virgin in the sense that she never married and never intended to, I was a virgin of today’s definition and I meant to always remain that way.”

         “At first I pulled away from him, allowing Apollo to chase him off each time he came to see me. For hours I would lay on the floor and weep because my heart missed him so much. He was my best friend! He knew things about me Apollo still does not know and Apollo and I shared a womb! Then one night, under a beautiful big full moon, I broke. I had to see him but more than that, I had to have him. I went to him specifically for the purpose of making him my lover. He made not one move, he did not give me so much as one kiss, without my consent. Night after night we met, my vows the farthest thing from my mind, any sort of consequences gone just as far from my thoughts. There was only Lucius and me under that beautiful Olympus moon. The air was always gentle, the grapes were always fragrant, and the wine always flowed. For years this went on. It was the one secret in that damned place...probably because Aphrodite never discovered us. But then I became with child. I was terrified! Even though my vows were not necessary to anything I did, they meant something to me and I was ashamed that I did not keep them. Athena always made it clear where she stood. She would never marry, she would never bear children, but she would have as many lovers as she damn well pleased and no one had better say a word against it. No one ever did. Truth be told, no one cared. But that was not my position! No man would ever touch me, no god would ever use my body, and I allowed just that!”

       “I knew I did not want the child. I also knew that if Lucius knew I was pregnant and I did away with the pregnancy, it would break his heart. I didn’t want that. I swear upon my mother, I did not want to hurt him ever! He was the best friend I have ever had! But I had to go to Hecate to get rid of the child and because of my well known position on the matter and because it is her way, when I refused at first to tell her the name of the father, she assumed the worst. Until the trial I never actually said that he raped me. She just assumed. As soon as the abortion was over, she got me coming out of antistetics and I told her it was Lucius. She immediately ran to Athena for a trial, which I was relieved about. The only one who loved Lucius more than I did was Athena so I thought he would be safe. I forgot how goddamn fair she is! At the trial, in front of every deity of the Upper Realm, with my beloved sitting there being demonized as a rapist of the Virgin Huntress, I was asked if he raped me. I could’ve told the truth. I should’ve told the truth. I knew that then and I know it now. But I was protecting my pride. So I lied. I still believed Athena would fix things for me, that there was no way she could throw her favorite cousin out of Olympus for all time. But, sure as hell, she did.”

         Artemis finally ran her hand over her tear-soaked face, wiping off the evidence of the pain she carried. Emily handed her a tissue and she took her hand while Artemis went on. “That was the worst week of my entire existence. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I wake up out of a dead sleep soaked in sweat with the moment I condemned him or the moment he was cast out fresh on my mind. He lives still, as I said. When he was cast out, his mother’s vampire nature was awakened in him and, until very recently, we believed him to be the oldest vampire on this earth. But that’s all been ripped apart with the brutal truth we were hit with as of late. It was my father who pushed me to condemn Lucius and all of this time I believed it was because he loved me so. It was not. Although I can’t quite see his angle, I do know that it had everything to do with his plans for Lucius. So I cast out the man I love even now, the only man I’ve ever truly loved, for a bastard who does not seem to care for anyone but himself. And I need to apologize. But how do you apologize for that?”

        Emily’s heart broke for the Goddess before her. She was genuinely sorry for the incredible mistake she made but how could she get her former lover to hear that after the way her mistake ruined his life. “You can try to tell Lucius the way you feel, how sorry you are for what you’ve done, but just know that he may not yet be in a place to hear you. You can ask him to listen, and he might, but you cannot force him to accept what you have to say. The woman in me wants to tell you to keep at it until he listens. But the doctor in me knows that will do you no good. Just keep that in mind. Be gentle and prepare yourself for the truth that he may not be ready.”

      Artemis nodded, smiling that heartbroken smile as if she already accepted defeat. Squeezing Emily’s hand, Artemis stood up and she grabbed her bow. “Thank you, Emily. I won’t forget that it was you who first heard my secret and that you were kind to me still. Can I say something to help you as you’ve helped me?”

        “I don’t know that I was very helpful but you can say whatever you want to say anyway.” Emily replied honestly.

         “You helped lighten the massive load of hurt in my heart and that was more helpful than you know. Until you’ve wronged someone, hurt someone you love in a way that completely changes their life as I did, you cannot know the burden of that knowledge. Just sharing it...I feel lighter. Hermes knows he hurt you and it hurts him very much. I am not sure who you are or how you’ve worked the magic you’ve worked with my family, but I do know this. Hermes loves you as I have never seen him love anyone else...and he has children with the Goddess of love so that is pretty incredible. He knows he hurt you. But around you, all of his skill with words seems to disappear. He doesn’t know how to tell you that he’s sorry. He stays at your home hoping you will allow him back in your heart but eventually he will determine the mistake was too big for forgiveness. So if you can forgive him, do it before he’s gone. I want to see him happy. I want to see the little demi-Goddess born of your womb. I want to see the three of you work out a life. But first you must forgive him his tresspasses against you.”

          Emily finished out the day on autopilot. Her morning sickness was becoming all-damn-day sickness, getting worse instead of better, and her head hurt like hell. But when she found Hermes in her house waiting for her with dinner ready and a bottle of wine she had to pass up, she knew the time had come. She only had two choices. Fix it or end it. Purgatory was not meant to be pleasant and it was time she pulled them both out of it. Sitting across from him at her kitchen table, she said softly, “The night I lost our son, when I realized you knew what was going to happen and you said nothing, it was like a knife slicing my heart. But when you left me alone in that room to wake up that way by myself, only coming to me behind Hecate and never coming directly to me, it absolutely destroyed my heart. I know now that you thought you were doing the right thing, rushing to get her and allowing her to do her work. But as much as I needed to be held by Hecate in that tub...I also needed you! Don’t you see that? I needed you!”

       The sobs that wracked Emily’s body were just as raw as they were on that horrible long night...only this time Hermes did come to her and he did wrap his arms around her, pulling her out of the kitchen chair to hold her right on that wooden floor of the dining room. The horrible rejection she felt the night she lost the baby was not erased in that moment. Everything between them would not be fixed by one embrace, no matter how genuine it was. But it was a great start. And it sent that goddamn elephant in the room packing off to someone else’s house. While Emily lay in bed that night with Hermes sleeping at her side, she couldn’t help but think of poor Artemis. There was no way to deny that she was wrong in what she did. However, Emily always liked to believe in second chances and she kept the hope in her heart that everyone, God, mortal, and monster alike, also believed in it.

'This Woman's Work' (The Gods in Therapy)

  Emily awoke in the middle of the night with a sharp terrible pain in her lower back and in her lower abdomen. Something was wrong. She knew that. Hermes wasn’t in bed with her anymore so she knew it was up to her to get to the bathroom that was directly off to her right. As the pain continued, increasing with each moment, she wondered if perhaps she wasn’t in labor. I mean, three weeks ago Hecate told her there was no way to predict how fast the baby would grow or when it would come. Was it possible? She never carried a pregnancy to term before so she had no idea. But as she held on to anything she could grab in order to make it to the bathroom, she considered the possibility terrifying. She also considered the alternative absolutely horrifying. If she wasn’t in labor...what was wrong? Screaming for Hecate, she curled up in a ball as soon as she reached the bathroom floor. She needed to sit on the toilet, to see if there was any blood. To be an American woman having a miscarriage was dangerous enough at this point but to have a miscarriage the doctors don’t understand? She would go to prison for sure! Again she screamed for Hecate, her real mother, her true mother, the one who nurtured and guided her most of her life...She felt as if this was news that had to come from Her and Emily would deal with the consequences from there.

         Oya appeared looking extremely somber with Oshun at her side. The two women helped Emily to get on the toilet and Oya held her hand as she looked down and saw all of the blood on the inside of her legs and inside of her underwear. “This could mean anything...maybe I’m in labor!” Emily cried out. She wanted so much to believe that.

        “If you were in labor, it would be the water, the source of life, that came from your body, not the blood. I am sorry, child. That baby is gone.”

         Emily let her upper body fall into Oya’s arms, beautiful Goddess of death and the sorrows of women, Goddess of those who lost their babies, and Emily sobbed as she never had before. Emily really wanted to be a mother this time. She had the money and the patience and she would do what she had to do to make the time...She was already thinking of names and picking out things for a nursery. She was ready! This wasn’t like the last time, when she was a very poor seventeen year old girl with a drug addict for a mom and a dad that was long gone...Hermes may not have been perfect but he was much better than the rich twenty six year old that got her pregnant back then. His parents paid for her abortion because having their son get a girl like her pregnant was a disgrace to their good name. And then she was left alone to face that cold table and her sudden reality. But she knew it was for the best...for both herself and that clump of cells in her body. She had no way to care for a child, a child that  would’ve ended up struggling just as she struggled. This time was different, though. This was real. And she felt pain in her heart unlike anything she ever felt before.

          Oshun ran her a hot bath while Oya sang to her a song she couldn’t understand. It seemed to go well with her gut wrenching cries, though, and for a moment she focused on the blending of sounds coming from both of them...anything to take her mind off of what was happening. And where the hell was Hermes?

        When Oya felt like Emily could stand, she helped her to the tub while Oshun stood with the cup Emily often washed her long hair with in her hand. They helped her into the bath and as she sat down, feeling the hot water ease her cramps almost immediately, there was a knock at the door. Hecate came in quickly but Emily noticed Hermes behind his aunt looking as if his heart was also breaking...and that is when it hit her. He already knew. He acted strange the past couple of weeks, as if he were coddling her. He spent every night with her, even waking her up in the morning with breakfast or coffee. And now she understood. He did not do these things out of love. He did them because he knew their connection was absolutely temporary. But when she looked away from him, all she could see was the blood turning the water a horrible shade of pink and she let out another wail that brought him running. She jerked her body away from him, barely comprehending what Hecate was telling her. “What?” Emily questioned.

        “I need you to lean back. I have to close your cervix. You’ve lost the boy, which is what I assumed at your check up, but the girl lives...unless your womb remains open. A human has enough trouble carrying a demi-god when there is one. Few can carry two. I was hoping I was wrong but…” Stroking Emily’s hair, Hecate closed her eyes and gently shoved Emily back until Hecate could touch the place on her abdomen that housed her womb. All hope was not lost. Emily's baby girl still lived inside of her. It seemed strange to grieve for a child she didn’t know she was carrying but she couldn’t help the tears that fell while Hecate chanted something. A strange feeling spread across Emily’s uterus and up until Emily could feel the power where the baby’s umbilical cord connected her to Emily’s life force.  Again there was that subtle feeling, as if the tiny fetus was responding to Hecate’s magic. After a tense moment, Hecate smiled a brilliant smile and she let out a sigh of relief. “As it stands right now, on this night, if nothing changes in there, this baby will live.” With her robes and all, Hecate climbed in the large jacuzzi tub and she sat behind Emily, holding her like the partners in lamaze videos. “Your baby girl will most likely live but that does not take away from the pain of losing her brother. I am sorry for that pain. I am sorry I said nothing. I did not want to alarm you if it was merely a cyst or something of that sort.”

         In that moment, with Oya holding her hand, Hecate holding her body, and Oshun pouring water over her again and again as if to purify her and make her ready once more to carry the life she had left inside of her, she looked over at Hermes and she saw him sitting helplessly on the side of the tub. It hit her then the full weight of what men stole from women when they broke apart the ancient circle of women raising all of the children together, sharing problems no man could understand, helping each other through births and deaths and everything in between. No man knew what she felt in her heart as she sobbed in that tub...but Oya knew. She went through it nine times before she got her babies from their birth mother. Even when Emily was seventeen, without truly having anything but a strong feeling to go on, the only comfort she took on the horrible day of her abortion was that she knew Hecate was there with her, her real mother, her real guide. In her ear Hecate whispered, “I’ve been with thee from the beginning…”

        “And I am that which is attained at the end of desire.” Emily whispered back the line in the full Charge of the Goddess. “I still have the baby I knew about and you said she is doing fine...I didn’t know he was there...how didn’t I know he was there and why does my heart hurt so much for a baby I didn’t know I was carried?”

        Hecate gently rubbed Emily’s lower abdomen as she replied, “You have emotionally invested in your womb, in the fruit of that womb, in the children you’ve created out of love. I will bet that part of you knew...maybe deep down inside...because you are connected to this pregnancy. But he wasn’t forming the way he should. And whether you knew it or not, that was the fruit of your womb! Your baby as you would’ve declared him to be if you knew! Of course it hurts, my child. And you need to let that sorrow flow like your blood into this water and allow Oshun to purify you to make you ready to carry new life. Can you do that? Try to gather as much of  that pain as you can and let your tears flow freely. It will be a few days in bed for you after this night. I will be sure to inform the deities you see that you are not to be bothered with their problems this week. I know Hera would be more than happy to come and help nurse you back to health, as would Athena, and Aphrodite. Aphrodite is a good girl even if she does open her mouth a bit too much...like that one there…” She pointed to Hermes. “...she almost always means well. Oya has already come for you as Oshun has. So let us care for you. Let us make you well again.”

        After the Goddesses helped her from the bath, the water was immediately washed down the drain and Oshun stayed behind to clear the tub of any and all negativity. Once Emily was wearing her thick white robe (the color of bone and death to the ancient people), the Goddesses left her alone with Hermes. It was her chance to confront him and to do what she felt she had to do. “You knew about this child and you knew that I would lose him and you kept it from me, didn’t you?” Emily asked softly. “You’ve known since that day Hecate came to my office.”

        “I’ve known since the night before. I felt his weak life force and I felt it draining away from him. I am the reason Hecate came to you on that day.” Hermes answered honestly.

        When he reached for her hand, she yanked it away. Nodding her head, she declared, “We, as a...whatever we were...are done. There will be no more of us together in any way. I may need your help during the pregnancy since I have no idea what may come carrying a child that is half yours, you are welcomed to be there when Hecate checks my womb, and I’ll allow you in the room when I give birth to our daughter. Once she is born, we will work out a fair way to co-parent. I want you in her life. I really do. But there is no room left in my life for you as it relates to me. The fact that you knew I was pregnant and you said nothing was bad enough, but the fact that you did not tell me I was carrying a fetus that I was going to lose…? That is beyond unforgivable. I think you believed I would lose them both and that was the reason for all of the kindness you’ve shown me these past three weeks. But I have no use for someone who cares about me only because I am pregnant with his child. I want to be loved...truly loved.”

         Emily knew she made a huge mistake as soon as she saw the pain rise up into his eyes. Her words cut deeper than any knife and she saw that on his face but she felt as if there was no going back. “You think I don’t love you?” When Emily turned away, he took that as a yes. Really she was just trying to hide her tears. “You are wrong. You are so so wrong. I do love that you are carrying my child but I do not love you just because you carry my child. I’ve loved you since the moment we met. I knew this was something special. Apparently it was only something special for me.” She felt the mattress shift when Hermes stood up and she knew if she was going to fix this she had to say something in that moment. “Very well. I will be back to check on you soon. Listen to Auntie Hecate. She knows her stuff. And try to rest. You need it.” There was a voice in Emily’s head screaming, ‘Tell him to stay! Tell him you love him and you want him to stay!’ but she just listened to his footsteps walk across the floor to the door. She knew he paused in the doorway and again, part of her was begging her to stop her bullshit. Instead, she let him go and she felt another piece of her shattered heart go with him.

       Aphrodite heard of Emily’s loss and she came to check on her. She didn’t mean to hear the conversation Emily had with Hermes but she couldn’t help herself when she heard Emily’s accusation from just outside the doorway. Grabbing her best friend by the arm as soon as he exited that room, she pulled him to the side so the patient inside wouldn’t hear her. Hermes looked absolutely defeated as he stared at her and it broke her heart to see him like that. But it was Emily she was most concerned with. “Don’t leave her, Hermes. She doesn’t mean what she says. Her heart is broken. Yes, it was your child too but it’s different for her. She had to blame someone so she blamed you. That’s ok. But if you leave her like this, you will never be able to fix this.”

         “She told me to go. I cannot force her to endure my company.” Hermes replied softly.

      “No, you can’t. So sleep on the damn couch. If she tells you to go after her heart and her mind have healed, then go. But tonight? Find a way to stay and give her enough space to breathe. Auntie Hecate is in the kitchen right now discussing with Hera what to do in Olympus in her absence because she is planning to stay for a while. Ask her what you can do. When Emily falls asleep, go lay on the floor beside of her bed and hold her hand if she allows it. But please...don’t leave her.”

       He trusted Aphrodite’s advice. She was the Goddess of love, after all. But more than that, she was once exactly where Emily was. When she still lived with that bastard almost-ex husband of her’s, she got pregnant by Ares. She was planning her escape for the sake of herself and her child when that bastard beat her until she lost that baby she wanted so badly. When Aphrodite told Hermes what happened, it was he who was there for her. He even made sure he told Ares, who beat Hephaestus within an inch of his life. But it was Hermes, not Ares, who sat at Aphrodite’s bedside day and night until she was better. How he could he not do that for Emily? Hugging Aphrodite to him, he kissed her cheek and he thanked her. He knew if there was anything left to save between him and Emily, Aphrodite would help him save it.

        When Emily awoke, it was early in the afternoon. Each of her bedside tables had beautiful purple roses sitting on them in vases she did not recognize but, strangest of all, Hermes slept in a ball beside of her bed and in her sleep she let him keep her hand in his. Everything came rushing back to her along with the truth. He loved her. And she loved him. So what was she doing turning him out? The rational part of her brain knew what she was doing. There was no hope of a future for them. But the part of her that was still raw and wide open knew it didn’t matter. He stayed even when she told him to go, even when she was prepared to let him off the hook if he was only with her for the baby. Squeezing his hand, Emily used her free hand to wipe away the tears that fell. Whatever else they faced, he stayed. For a moment, that was enough.

Emily Has Her First Pre-Natal Visit (The Gods in Therapy) *Includes natural recipe to induce labor*

*Includes a recipe for a tea that was said to induce labor for thousands of years...in case it is needed by anyone. Hecate and I have your back, women in Republican-taken-over-states

Hecate did not knock before she came in and, to Emily’s surprise, she simply sat down next to Thor as he told Emily about this new Goddess he was sleeping with from a different Pantheon, which was apparently unheard of. And because it seemed as if he wanted her to press him as to who it was, he obviously wanted to talk about it. But Emily could not think of anything with Hecate sitting there staring at her silently. Putting a hand up to stop the flow of Thor’s story, Emily cleared her throat, knowing better than to address Hecate with annoyance. “I am with a patient right now. I would hate to have you wait…”

       “Good.” Turning toward Thor, Hecate declared, “I am here to do a checkup to ensure that the first Demi-God to be born of a human in millions of years is developing properly. Please bear in mind that the human mother lives in a country where, in some states, even if someone found out that I gave her the ancient mixture of pennyroyal, black cohosh root, blue cohosh root, cotton root bark, mugwort, and queen’s anne lace, she would go to prison...even if the baby had no skull! Also keep in mind how difficult it is for a human to carry a Demi-God in her body. And we don’t know how far along the baby is because it grows as it pleases so every moment counts, Thor. While your affair with Athena is interesting, to say the least, I need to do my work now. I am very sorry that I interrupted you. I am. You know I am not rude by nature. It is just that every moment counts right now.”

        Thor looked at Hecate with his legendary hammer sitting between his legs and to Emily’s shock, he smiled. “I understand, Auntie. These human men and their deplorable laws make this something of great importance...and it lightens my heart to know a child of earth and Olympus will be born in this world again. I believe this world needs that. So I will leave you to your work. And Dr. Lieberman, I will see you next Thursday. I wish you many blessings with the halfling in your womb.”

         Emily thanked him, always amused by his way of saying things. After he walked out, Hecate shook her head. “My oh my. He has always meant well in what he does. However, even just to have sex, he is a strange match for Athena. She is logical to a fault and he has never let his head rule a decision he has ever made in his life! I cannot imagine they talk a lot after the deed is done.” Hecate shook her head as if she were dumbfounded. Then she directed her attention straight at Emily. “Well, my child, please come over here so I can check on our little one. Don’t worry. I have only to place my hand over your womb and I will know everything that is going on in there.”

       Emily was so nervous, her hands were shaking. She tried to prepare herself for whatever Hecate would tell her. She really wished for Hermes in that moment and that made her feel weak so she had no intention of voicing this desire. But she didn’t have to. As Hecate pulled down Emily’s waistband on her stretch pants, she declared, “Hermes is here. He is in the hall. He is a nervous wreck and he was afraid it would be bad news. He thought I would be able to comfort you better if it were. Now hush so I can see.” Emily was not about to point out that she never spoke. Instead she just closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. When Hecate touched her belly, Emily felt some of the power of her Matron flowing into her and she almost thought that she could feel the quickening of life inside of her, as if the fetus, barely formed at this point, were responding to Hecate’s touch. After a tense moment, Hecate smiled. “She is fine, my child. She is growing at a normal human rate for the moment although that does not mean she will continue to do so...and...wait a moment…” Hecate’s face turned very serious very quickly.

       “What? What’s wrong?” Emily was so worried about Hecate’s reaction that she totally missed the use of the pronoun ‘she’.

        After moving her hand around every inch of Emily’s belly and then cupping the belly on each side with each hand, Hecate looked her in the eye and she said, “She is fine. She is strong. And now you must be strong if you truly want to bring her into this world.” Kissing Emily’s belly like a happy aunt, she touched the belly one more time before going out in the hall.

       A moment later, Hermes walked in. He was grinning, but something about it seemed false. After begging Emily to take the rest of the day off, he insisted they go back to her place and order in some Chinese food. Somewhere along the way, Emily forgot Hecate’s reaction and the look on her lover’s face when he came into her office. She laughed at his off the wall jokes and she tried to explain to him why Teen Mom was an important show for young people to watch...and she basked in the glow of knowing she was having a baby girl. This seemed to please Hermes as well. By the time the two of them went to her bed, they were both ready for a little more than sleep and she basked in the glow of that as well. She intended to mark on her calendar the significance of that date and it was this last thought that she carried with her into sleep.

How Hera Got Her Groove Back (The Gods in Therapy)

   To see Hera looking absolutely radiant, as if she were glowing from the inside out, made Emily very happy. Wearing black elephant bell bottom slacks with a sleeveless white blouse tucked in to accent her small waist and large hips, her makeup was flawless on her tan skin, and she smelled like jasmine and lily. But the thing Emily noticed right away was that the wedding diamond she wore on her left ring finger was replaced with a gorgeous large star sapphire ring. “Yes, it is official that Zeus and I are finished. Hecate gave me this ring that belonged to her mother, Asteria, Titan of falling stars, to commemorate my release from my horrible marriage. After holding on for such a long time to something I never wanted in the first place, it is a relief to know that it’s done. Hecate has stated flat out that, if we survive the upcoming war, she is launching a revolution and she is taking the place that belonged to her all along as queen of heaven and earth. In many ways she has already taken back her crown. I have not heard anyone say that, if Zeus wants to do this the difficult way and start a war, they will side with him. Everybody adores Hecate. She is perhaps the only one of us that loves everyone and is loved by everyone in return. I cannot imagine anyone, even Ares, lifting a finger against her. I, for one, would be happy to assist her. She has said that She wants me to retain my title as Queen of Heaven and it will be my job to keep Zeus from her throne when she isn’t in Olympus. I have so much hatred in my heart for him, I think I would tear him apart with both hands if he gave me one reason to do it! I know I will need to work through that hatred eventually but if it helps me for now, I’ll hold on to it.”

         “I am so happy to see you like this! That sparkle in your eyes is beautiful to watch. I was very worried about you the first time you came in here. You looked so beaten down. Now you look completely different in the best way. You’ve taken your power back. And that’s beautiful.”

        Hera smiled brilliantly. “Thank you. Olympians have never divorced before. If a deity wanted to leave their spouse, they just left. But the connection is never truly severed. Hecate and I are changing that. From here on out, if a deity in Olympus wants a divorce, she has only to speak with Hecate about it and then the proceedings will go through Athena to ensure a just and fair split and then it is done. I am keeping my title as the Goddess of Marriage and Children but I will be adding to it things from the other side of that coin and the day of my divorce, I will also be crowned the Goddess of Divorce and Divorced Women as well as Single Mothers.”

        “Really?” Emily questioned, genuinely surprised. “I didn’t realize that you could do that...take on new roles, I mean.”

            “Hecate is already making some wonderful changes, including that. She has been around humans, closely watching them all of these years, and she knows better than most of us how the world down here has changed. While it is a great fight, and one we are eager to join, we all have our hope that this world will revert back to being a matriarchy as we all intended it to be. So long as all of you human women can push back the ugliest forms of this patriarchy while it makes its last stand, we believe that women may yet be able to save your world. But you must fight. Do not let those terrible men, all of them with a bit of Zeus inside of them, win their ridiculous war against you...and against nature Herself.” Hera shook her head as she pushed her hair back from her face in a gesture that reminded Emily of Athena. Hera smiled a sad smile as soon as Emily mentally took note of the similarities in the gestures. “Ah, speaking of Athena...Once the divorce is done, I would love to come here and tell her how very sorry I am for the way that I treated her. I want to wait until the divorce is final, though, because it won’t mean anything to her if she thinks I am simply trying to get her to side with me in the proceedings and I need her to know with all of her heart that I mean it. I am truly sorry. There are many I owe apologies to, including Aphrodite, but none more than sweet Athena. I know how important words are, how they can heal when someone acknowledges the wrong they have done to you, and if I can lighten Athena’s spirit in any way with my apology, I need to do that.”

       Emily handed Hera a tissue for her tears as she marveled at the transformation that a few therapy sessions had over the Goddess. Emily felt it was a case of ‘right place, right time’, really. Hera was done with her marriage, done with the abuse, done with the lack of love...and Emily was just the person who listened to her long enough for her to come to that realization. “I would love to be here for both of you when you tell her what’s in your heart.”

          Hera nodded and then she perked up. “Oh, and congratulations on the demi-human you are growing in your womb! Olympus is all abuzz with the news! Hecate said my daughter Eileithyia will assist in your labor and that she, Hecate I mean, will be the one to monitor your pregnancy since demi-humans can grow in an unpredictable way and human doctors are not equipped to handle it. I am very excited for you! I agree with your anger over the way that you heard the news but I am glad that you and Hermes made up. He is a good boy. He is much better than his father ever was!”

        Emily was surprised to hear Hera mention her pregnancy but she smiled, saying softly, “Thank you for the congratulations. I am excited but…”

        “Apprehensive?” Hera offered when Emily couldn’t bring herself to finish her sentence. “I understand that. It has been a very long time since a demi-human was born and carrying one can be an ordeal for a human woman. From what I understand, they often grow larger, quicker, they take much more out of the mother...I even heard once that Hercules’s mother ate as if she were eating for four because she was constantly hungry and tired carrying him. But each one is different. With Hecate by your side, I am sure you will be fine. We will have to have some sort of celebration...like the humans do..like a baby shower. A gender reveal would be silly for us because once the gender forms, we will all know...Oh, do you want us to tell you or are you one of those foolish humans that wish to wait and be surprised with gender neutral colors all over the place?”

       Emily chuckled, trying to accept that, because of the situation, the Olympians would always know everything about her child before she did. “I want to know. But I would like you to warn me before you blurt it out.”

         “So don’t ask Aphrodite to tell you, then?” Hera asked. They both had a good laugh over that.

        “Exactly! I won’t bother giving you an appointment time. I’ve learned that it’s pointless. I would like to know when your divorce is over. I cannot wait for you to be free. Whenever you are ready for your session with Athena…”

         “She will be seeing you soon. Could you ask her about the session? Ask her to meet me so I can tell her I am sorry?”

        Hera seemed so uncertain in that moment, as if her fragile newfound confidence was shaking a bit, and Emily couldn’t tell her no. “If I see her before you see me, yes, I will ask her.”

         Hera’s smile returned as she stood up to shake Emily’s hand. “Very well. Thank you so much, doctor. Good luck with the baby. I’ll see you soon.”

        “Good luck with the divorce and taking on your new roles. No matter what Zeus may do now, it doesn’t matter, because you have finally found the strength and the real you. Don’t forget that. I don’t think he will let you go without any sort of fight so even if he comes to screw a girl on your lap, don’t let him get to you.”

         “He can fuck whomever he pleases...just like when we were married.” Again, Hera laughed at her own joke while she left the office, the new bounce in her step was evident to Emily. It was a shame that it took so long, that it took until the world was on the brink of ending, for this beautiful Goddess to find herself. If it took thousands of years for a Goddess to leave a terrible marriage, it was harder to imagine how any woman anywhere managed it. But Emily had a feeling that now, with Hera taking care of such women, they had a better chance at walking away and building new lives.

Aphrodite Spills the Tea (The Gods in Therapy)

The soft knock on the door didn’t sound like the thundering boom of Thor’s typical knock but it was made clear with that sound that Emily would not be getting peace on her lunch hour. “Come in.” Emily called, trying to shove down the frustration she felt.

        She did not know the woman who came in but she thought the woman was absolutely beautiful. Wearing a beautiful flowing white dress with short sleeves that fell off of the shoulder, Emily thought it looked a bit like the dress Beyonce wore in the video for ‘Hold Up’. The woman’s olive tone skin and radiant blue eyes were a beautiful contrast to her long black hair. And she smelled amazing! Like wildflowers, honeysuckle, and the ocean. Hell, Emily fell a little in love with her by the time the woman sat down daintily on the couch. Everything about her made Emily believe she was a Goddess, perhaps of beauty...unless socialites recently found her business cards as well. “Hello. I am Aphrodite, daughter of Dione and Poseidon. I am the Goddess of beauty and love, pleasure and passion, and sometimes I am called upon to turn a Maiden into a Mother. I am often called upon when matters of love and sex come up. You may know me from that silly story my uncle made up about my birth. As I said, I do have a mother. She disappeared when I was an infant, but it was she, not my father’s severed genitals into the sea, that made me. Who are you?”

       Each deity that Emily met showed her a level of respect if no other reason than because she wanted very much to help them but Aphrodite was not like the others. Emily feared Hermes was the reason for the hint of dismissiveness in Aphrodite’s tone but there was some ancient part of her mind that knew that was just Aphrodite’s way. “I am Emily and I am a therapist. I am here for anyone that needs me.”

        Waving Her hand in the air, Aphrodite seemed to dismiss Emily’s words immediately. “No, no, no...I know all of that. What I am asking is who are you?” Emily said nothing because she was confused. This seemed to irritate Aphrodite. Emily was starting to get the feeling that Aphrodite’s question and her visit had nothing at all to do with Hermes. In response to this thought, Aphrodite laughed in a way that was intensely pleasant. “You think I have come because you are lying with Hermes when he comes around? No. Yes, we have children together and yes, I have always lied when I said I did not love him at all...I do in a way, but Hermes and I are not well matched. I need someone who will make me the center of the world when I request it. I need someone who will gladly come to me wherever I am whenever I call. Hermes is too easily distracted for my taste. I must say, if you are to blame a Greek deity when all is done with Hermes, please blame my son Eros because I have no reason to dislike you so it was not I who led the two of you together.”

        Emily had more questions than answers after all of that but above all, she was now more confused than ever about the question Aphrodite was asking her. “I really do not understand what you mean, then, if your question doesn’t have anything to do with Hermes.”

       Again she sighed as if she were more exasperated than before. “What I mean is, all of Olympus is speaking your name. You’ve made ancient enemies into allies, you’ve managed to help the most abused wife in all of Olympus by telling her things we’ve been telling her for thousands upon thousands of years, you have Hermes coming when you call him to alleviate your desire...I’ve even heard that you’ve talked Sekhmet into remarrying her ex! What is your secret? I am dying to know!”

       “I treat Them all like I would any other patient and I just listen to Them. It’s almost like treating an extremely powerful group of selfless soccer moms with a lot of You...You have all listened to the joys and pain of human beings since we appeared on this earth but how often does a human listen, truly listen, to Your pain or Your happy thoughts? Many humans act as if the Goddess is a concept they cannot wrap their minds around...and there You all are walking beside us all the time. That must be frustrating. And then there is the misinformation that even humans who do know You believe...like the idea that neither You or Athena have Mothers.”

        “Or the fact that Hermes is a rapist?” Aphrodite questioned, acting as if the question was innocent.

         Emily’s blood ran cold. Thinking back on the night that she brought up his father’s ways, she quickly searched her mind for any myths relating to Hermes raping anyone and she came up empty handed. “Is Hermes a rapist?”

         Aphrodite laughed her perfect laugh. “Of course not! But humans believe that he raped me. They believe our dear sweet Hermaphrodite was born of that rape, our child who is neither son nor daughter while being both son and daughter. They are perfect inside and out. Men and women alike are prone to falling madly in love with them. I believe it was Zeus that started such a rumor. No one chastised his rapist ways as much as Hermes and Hades...and then both were remembered even still for stories involving rape. I do not find that coincidence. I also do not find it coincidental that the story claimed it was Hermaphrodite who was born of such a hideous act! In the days of old, the people knew that such people, people born with both sets of genitalia and people born one sex who had the soul of the other sex inside, were perfectly natural. Such people lived as the sex they felt inside or they lived sometimes as men and sometimes as women...or sometimes they cast off gender altogether...and it was accepted. But it bothered Zeus. He tried to get me to agree to the murder of my own baby when he saw my beloved child for the first time! He was furious that I had the support of most of the Gods who said they would see him destroyed before he hurt my baby. So of course that is the child he claims was born of this fictional rape. As if Hermes would ever need to rape someone! One would think Hermes was a God of pure sexual desire the way females have always thrown themselves at him. When we were children, I remember it was said that he was so beautiful and charming even as an infant that strangers lined up to breastfeed him. Now, like many stories of its kind, that might be pure fabrication...but that is what was said.”

        Emily was starting to wonder if Aphrodite was also the Goddess of gossip...perhaps it was She Who Wendy Williams prayed to...but nothing about her gossip seemed malicious and Emily was honestly enjoying her company. She was almost afraid to ask the question that was nagging her because pissing off the Goddess of Love seemed like a good way to die alone, but she was dying to know so she hoped with all of her heart that Aphrodite liked spilling her own tea as much as she liked knocking over the teacups of the others. “Weren’t you married once? What happened with that? Do Gods in Greece divorce the way Sekhmet divorced Her husband?”

         “No. We just leave our husbands and take our lovers.” She declared with a laugh. “Hephaestus was the true rapist. I was tricked into marrying him by Hera and I was so young...I was too young to know that I could tell Hera no or that I could tell my husband no...I let a great many things go on for a very long time. Although Ares is now and will always be my one great love, I will never forget the way Hermes helped me see that I was important, that I have a voice, and that no one, not Hera or her lame bully of a son who did as he pleased with me when he pleased just to go out and brag that he could, was really able to stop me from getting true pleasure where I wanted. When Ares and I were caught, there was no net that ensnared us! I did as my dear Hermes suggested and I brought the man I truly love into my marriage bed, that bed where I was raped again and again, while my husband was outside in his workroom knowing he would come in and find Ares and I together eventually, and I stayed in bed with my lover until my husband walked in. It is true that he called the other Gods in but Ares and I stayed to greet them in that bed of our own accord. And it was not the pair of us that the Gods ridiculed, I assure you. When my damned mother in law walked in, I looked her in the eye, still in that horrible bed that I was finally able to create one pleasant moment in, and I told her I was leaving her son. I told them all that Hephaestus was weak in a way that had nothing to do with being lame and that he was only able to “stand up” to young girls, apparently, since it was me he tried to slap while he fled from the retribution of Ares. I told her he had all of the worst traits of his father and that if she, in truth, thought he was so grand, she was free to have him for herself. But I was finished with him.”

        “If you were already with Ares when you left your husband but you had not yet had children with Hermes, how did that come about?” Emily asked. She was interested in a purely voyeuristic way at that point and she knew it but she couldn’t seem to help herself.

       “Hermes is my best friend. Ares is like…” Aphrodite’s sigh no longer held irritation, that was for sure. “Ares is like oil and I am a match. Sometimes that is beautiful. It creates light and heat and it benefits the good of all. But other times it will burn the entire house down with a whole family trapped inside. Do you see my meaning? What I am saying? I know your entire history with love. Of course you do!”

      Emily chuckled freely, genuinely amused by Aphrodite’s words. “Yes, I do understand. So right now are the two of you on or off?”

         “Well, Ares is the God of war started without wisdom, wars not well thought out, so he has been extremely busy the past one hundred years or so. And I am going around trying to temper the sting of his work for people so I am just as busy. But when we have the time, we get together. In that sense, we are together. I could call him right now and he would come. Even when we leave one another and we refuse to speak to one another, that has always been true. I need that. It worked out well for Hermes too. I can see that. I would be lying if I said that I think you have a blissful road ahead for you. Even if he behaved well, you are still human. And what’s this I hear about the two of you producing another demi-human? When has that ever worked out? You are a very brave soul.”

       All laughter died in Emily’s throat. “There is no demi-human. I am not pregnant.” She tried to sound assertive but it only came off sounding as scared as she felt.

         “Everyone knows. After everything I’ve shared with you, you can tell me.” Emily saw Aphrodite’s expression change dramatically, as if she realized that Emily truly did not know. Softly, with all of the compassion of a mother Goddess, Aphrodite said, “I am so sorry that you found out this way. Hey, maybe Hecate is wrong. Take one of those tests. Surely it has happened before that Hecate was wrong about something like this…and I know Hera can be wrong.”

        “Hera? They are both saying I am pregnant?”

       “I overheard the two of them talking about it. But then I heard it from Artemis, Demeter and Persephone, because she’s home right now, and finally I heard Hermes himself talking to Apollo about it. That was when I assumed it was true and that you told him. That is typically the way of it. I forgot that he is what he is and you are human.” Standing up, Aphrodite suddenly smelled like she carried with her an entire apple orchard. “Again, I am very sorry you found out this way. Should I see Hermes around, I will be sure to tell him that you are looking for him and you are none too pleased that he kept information like that from you. Hell, you live in America. If you want to terminate this pregnancy, you only have about fifteen minutes left to do it! The sooner you are told the better! That damned inconsiderate ass! I’ll leave you now to think about all of that. I hope you find a way to salvage this day.”

         Emily’s mind was in a fog. She had no idea what time it was or how long Aphrodite was there. Her rational mind wondered why Thor wasn’t there yet while the rest of her was numb. She had much to say to Hermes, if she ever saw him again, and none of it was good. He knew first...and he said nothing to her while blabbing about it to everyone else in his world? Emily thought that was a bastard thing to do. For his baby mama to know that she was pregnant before she knew? That seemed pretty unforgivable.

        Emily spent three hours trying to harden her heart against Hermes. She bought three pregnancy tests on her way home and each came back a ‘Positive’ that was loud and clear. There was no mistaking it at all. Within seconds the results were there on all three tests. It explained the shitty way she felt almost immediately following the last tryst she had with Hermes. She was light headed, dizzy, hot all the damned time, and she was nearly starving thanks to the horrible nausea she had. But never did she think she was pregnant. She was on birth control, for Christ’s sake! She wondered if it was the evil deity sperm of Hermes that did this to her, that climbed through the defenses of standard human birth control to invade her poor eggs anyway. She was sobbing when Hermes found her. The sounds coming from her were downright pitiful. Her heart was broken but he wasn’t sure what hurt her so. Going to her on her sofa, he sat down and wrapped his arms around her. “Aphrodite is one of my favorite family members but she has a really big mouth. I did not mean for you to find out that way and I am very sorry you did. After speaking with Apollo and Hades and even Ares, if you can believe that, I was going to let you find out and tell me and I was going to pretend to be surprised. I know it was a deception but I know how women are about such news.”

         Lifting her head off of his chest, Emily could not believe what Hermes said! “I don’t give a damn that you knew first...I care that EVERYONE in Olympus knew and still you did not tell me! When Aphrodite said that...I thought...ugh…” Emily’s words were cut off by another sob that seemed to come straight from her soul. “I thought you were gone, that I was going to have to make the decision to keep it alone and that I was going to have to figure out how to raise a demi-god alone...I was terrified. After all Aphrodite said about how you can’t be tied down...and that is coming from a woman who had as many children as a Dugger so that is pretty bad...I thought you were gone.”

       Pulling him to her again, Hermes stroked her hair as he assured her in his charming way that he went nowhere, that he never had any intention on leaving, that he loves babies, and that he is an alright father overall. For one night, Emily put aside the discussion she now knew they needed to have concerning power dynamics in their relationship and what to expect as a human mother carrying a demi-human….she put aside the horrible feeling that she felt from the moment Aphrodite told her she was pregnant, pushing it deeper away until it was a tickle in the very back of her brain...she put aside everything. She just wanted to lay in Hermes’ perfect arms and imagine what their baby would look like while she told him the stories that Aphrodite shared with her. He laughed with her in a way that almost put her mind at ease. Humans had been with Gods before and demi-humans had been born before. She was going to be just fine. The baby growing inside of her was going to be just fine.

       Moral of the Story?: The baby mama drama is only as messy as the baby mama...