Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Wrapping Up 2014

I have been truly blessed this year. No shit. I didn't realize how blessed I had been until I sat down to make a list of the fourteen best and worst moments of my 2014 and I could not come up with fourteen "worst" moments...or fourteen truly bad moments, for that matter. As the sun sets on another year I can say honestly that this has been the best year I've had in a very long time. Of course there were bumps in the road and there were bad days and there were bouts of depression and problems with my body and all of that crap that is, at least for me, life, but when I consider where I was last year and where I am right now I know that following my gut has seriously paid off in 2014. 
The biggest example of this was my idea to move in with my boyfriend two months after we met/got together. Even now I cannot believe we made it through the bumps in our road with the little bit of history we had when we got in that fucking car together. lmao I spent something like a week and a half with my boyfriend at his dad's last year. He was trying to find work in my disaster of a home town at the time and he was having no luck but he was doing odd jobs while he was looking and one day while I was waiting for him to get back after one such work day I missed him like hell. I remember thinking 'What the hell am I going to do when I go home if a few hours apart has me missing him like this?' I was really surprised by the whole thing. Yes, I knew I was in love with him already but I have always been a firm believer in the idea that time spent apart is good and that moving too fast is really really bad. He came home that day and I put it out of my head until I went home and I realized I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't stand the days (sometimes a whole week...god forbid) apart with him down in Circleville and me up here in Columbus. I texted him (classy, I know) with this crazy fucking idea about moving into my mother's basement while he looked for work expecting him to reply that it was a terrible idea and it would be best to wait. Instead, he told me it sounded great. A week later we were moving our few possessions into the basement of my Mommy Dearest. For months we went through the financial bullshit that comes along with two people starting over and one being unable to work. I took alot of my shit out on him because each time we were broke I felt like it was completely my fault for not being able to work and I was so sure that he felt the same way...that's an issue we still have. He doesn't feel that way. He has never done anything but praise me in all my housewifely glory and I believe he feels that way but I am not the type of person that was mentally made to stay at home and wait for someone else to bring home the bacon so sometimes my bullshit makes me neurotic and a real pain in the ass. He's amazing in his ability to take it all in stride (and in his million and one abilities besides). Now that we have our home, the money thing is sometimes worse and sometimes better. Money all around is like that at times. But we're still here, together, weathering out whatever storms happen to blow on by. We make one hell of a team for the most part. And even though it was probably the biggest impulsive move I've ever made, moving in together and getting our place were numbers one and two on my personal list of the best things about this year.
Another gut feeling I'm glad I went with this year was the idea to self-publish again. That give-away last week? Altogether I gave away around six hundred (six-fucking-hundred) copies. Beauty and the Beast made up the bulk of it but that didn't matter to me. I am sure that the great literary heroes of our time would think nothing of that number but to me it was HUGE! If I can give away that many copies I know I can sell that many. Getting the feedback I've been getting on goodreads has been great as well. The constructive criticism and the compliments have been equally helpful and hearing people say that they would like to read the series has inspired me to actually get off my ass with the Rapunzel re-write. I'm actually enjoying it and it's been a trip to see where the story is going now that I know how to shut up and listen while the story and the characters take the lead. I was not so skilled at that when I was fifteen writing it the first time around. If I had been, I wouldn't be going through the re-write. lol But overall I am more optimistic about my literary future than I have been in a long time. 
My gut told me 2014 would be good to me, that twenty-seven would be good to me, and it was right. So one thing I promise myself is that I will go with my instincts more in 2015. Sometimes it takes feeling like you have little left to loose before you have the balls to do that and sometime in 2013 I finally reached that point, I suppose. 
This year was really good for books and music too. Anne Rice's return to Lestat was awesome (my amazing boyfriend got the book for me as an anniversary present last month...Prince Charming indeed...) as was Stephen King's sequel to the Shinning (Dr. Sleep), Amanda Palmer's The Art of Asking, everything Neil Gaiman, getting into older books by Starhawk for the first time, finding really great books thanks to my friends on goodreads (like You...amazing/creepy/twisted Book Winner of 2014 for me), and many others that kept me entertained this year. New albums by Stevie Nicks and Seether, new singles by Marilyn Manson, and being turned on to new (for me) bands like Fever Ray and Daughter (both amazing to write to) all kept my ears engaged. All of the great entertainment was of course tempered by loss like the death of Robin Williams, Joan Rivers, and Mickey Rooney. Then there were the personal triumphs and devastation I've read or heard from my friends all year including a number of births and nearly as many losses. I was very lucky this year. My family is still intact. After years of losing people one right after the other, I am grateful for every single year we have without a death. This makes the eleventh such year. Like I said...I've been blessed. 
Usually I start a year off with promises I make myself. This year I really don't have anything specific I want to focus on. I just want to keep getting better as a woman, as a writer, as a witch, as a person. I hope 2015 is more peaceful for the country and I promise not to intentionally add to ALL of the turmoil while also promising that I won't turn my back on a chance to stand up for injustices I see in the world around me. I just want the best...for you and yours, for me and mine, for the country, the continent, and the world. I promise to do what I can to make that dream a reality. But I am completely at a loss for promises that detail such a promise. lol
I know I said it in the last post but I am saying it again in case you missed it. I hope that 2015 brings all of you everything you need and so much more. I wish you all good health, prosperity, love, and happy days ahead of you. And I hope that everyday, whether it is good or bad, you find at least one reason to smile. :)

Some of my favorites of 2014:
Stevie Nicks- Lady (From 24 Carat Gold...and the whole album is amazing. )

Seether-Words as Weapons (From Isolate and Medicate...also amazing)
Marilyn Manson-Third Day of a Seven Day Binge (from the upcoming new album which drops next month....NEW MANSON!!! Do I need to say more?)

Fever Ray-If I had a Heart (I know it came out before this year but I've just now gotten into the band and while everyone knows this song... 
is actually the one I like the best and write the most to....)
Daughter-If You Leave (full album): And speaking of writing....this is my current writing buddy. I assume that will last as long as the part I am currently working on before it's back to Fever Ray and then who knows?  

I know I had favorite shows and movies this year as well but, me being me, I can't think of any....well...That's not totally true. There was Archer. Again, not a new show but new to me and it was probably my new favorite show of 2014. But movies? Nope. Still drawing a blank....

At any rate....

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