"Time Cast Its Spell on You" (The Gods in Therapy )

 

Emily was exhausted. It was New Year's Eve, 2025, ten years since the first vampire came to her telling her an extraordinary tale of being the Prince Charming of the underground vampire cities he was tasked with watching over, including the one he was currently taking care of right under her feet, below the subway tunnels of the city she spent her entire life in. He set off a domino effect that altered so much more than her life. Her life was insignificant in the grand scheme of things... until that first night on New Year's Eve, 2015, when a beautiful creature with long blonde hair, skin bone white, and the most startling blue green eyes she ever saw walked into her office unannounced and uninvited as she packed her things to go. She was thinking of a boyfriend's party she had no desire to make an appearance at when he walked in while knocking softly and in one night that creature ripped apart her whole concept of reality. When he told her he was a vampire born nearly a millennia ago in an ancient Britain that the English people of today wouldn't recognize, she listened, initially because she was trying to determine if his delusions were harmless or if she was going to get her good excuse to escape a party because she would have to fill out a lot of paperwork for a 51/50. Instead, she spent that time in between the end of one year and the beginning of another listening to an incredible story of a soul's attempt at navigating immortality despite his birth as a regular human being during the first century of the last millennium. Little did she know the impact that one night was going to have on her life and the very fabric of the Universe as treating vampires led to treating the Fae which led her straight into helping Gods with millions of years of interpersonal drama and worse coping skills in many cases than an average hormonal human teenager... Ten full years of extraordinary tales and taking on the task of sorting it all out and providing solutions where she could, ten years of listening to Gods who were not used to talking about their own pain and trauma but rather taking on the pain and trauma of others, and as she sat alone in her office hesitant to brave the swarms of people who flooded into the city to watch the impossibly large ball drop in Time Square just to find herself all alone as another year rolled in, she found herself thinking of one God in particular that stood out from all the rest... She listened to the problems of Gods all day and sometimes late into the night (none of them had any concept of time save for those who spent most of their existence with humans... which was rare to find... and Thor... so long as his appointment was on the day he watched over...). Would the one God she wished most to know better, the one God who had never come to her for help even though He seemed to carry a great deal of sadness within Him, would He come if she called...? "Goddamn it, Hermes!" She cried out, jumping when He appeared before her in all of His Divine glory. "You scared the shit out of me!" She added 

"How could I scare you when you called me?" He questioned, cold as ever. 

She shouldn't feel bothered each time he was cold towards her, she chastised herself, reminding herself that after so many years of it each time he escorted someone to her or took her to another realm, she should be used to it. And yet...she wasn't used to it. She never wanted to get used to it, either. It bothered her a great deal, this wall of ice he surrounded himself in each time he was forced to acknowledge her in any way. She saw him with all of the other Gods, even Gods of different pantheons or members of his family who had done terrible things to him. With absolutely everyone else, he was a good-natured, easy going, kind being who never let things get to Him, the embodiment of "water off a duck's back", even when the Gods of Olympus demanded Zeus start seeing Emily twice a week by Himself to sort out whatever was broken inside of him and Hermes was tasked with escorting Him to and from His sessions. Zeus, who had done so many horrible things to Hermes according to Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite (who spilled the secrets of everyone in Her family), and to those Emily knew He loved most, they got irritation from Hermes at the worst. Only to her was he cold, sometimes downright mean, and although she knew it shouldn't, it bothered her. It bothered her deeply. On this night in between 2025 and 2026, she was prepared to ask him at long last how she did him wrong in a life she couldn't recall, for most certainly that had to be his issue with her. "Are you aware that you are the only God of any Pantheon known today to never sit on my couch?" Emily said playfully, even smiling at Him, trying to start off easy and work her way up to the challenging questions she desperately wanted answers to. 'Why don't you like me?' 'Why are you so cold towards me?' 'Why does your coldness break me each time you turn it on me?' 'You have become the only real partner I have ever had as you bring me Gods from all over the many realms and then escort them back home literally making my work possible, though it's not at all romantic, and together we have accomplished impossible things in this unlikely gig we have so why do you look at me like you want to rip my heart out and squeeze the life from it before my body drops, just to make sure my last thought is that you, the God I think I love so deeply, though I have no reason to, is the one that took me down...?' These tough questions swirled in her mind and she was grateful, so damn grateful, to that first vampire patient of hers for eventually showing her how to lock her mind up so tight even Gods couldn't pry because she didn't want Hermes to know such thoughts...at least not until she chipped away a little at that wall of solid ice between them. 

"I am in no need of your services. If that's all ..." Hermes intended to leave it there. The less time He spent around her, the better, and he knew that. He knew it was unwise to come when he heard her soul desperately calling for him. She had no idea how often she called out for him. He knew that too. He could tell, though, when she was calling his name without her knowledge. This was not that. Tonight it felt like her mind, body, and soul were all in agreement and in alignment around one thing: Him. Since she learned to lock her mind tight thanks to that bastard Drake, his vampire cousin's progeny, he had done his best to read her, always hoping the day would come when she remembered the beautiful life they very nearly had, the beautiful life they did have for one sweet moment in time. The Gods only needed a little more time to prepare. He blamed her for being too weak to deal with the memories as he was forced to but he blamed his aunt much more. He would have been able to forgive Hecate for the original plan, to move all of them to this timeline when it became clear that the child he made with this incredible woman was the trigger that was going to wake the Ancient Ones in every single timeline except this one and only because in this timeline, what he shared with the beautiful incredible woman before him never was. It was necessary for the survival of humans in general but, more importantly to him, for Emily's survival that they move her here. That was clear enough. He even understood that Hecate knew how she would grieve what they had and that she suggested giving Emily the choice to wipe clean all to do with that extremely brief moment of happiness they found together after the jump into this timeline was done. What he would never forgive was his aunt going forward with such an offer within moments of shifting to this timeline and refusing to give Emily all of the information she needed to make such a choice. When Hecate told him that it was done without giving him a moment at least to speak with this woman he loved again and again going all the way back further than humans currently believed their species existed , that it was done without Emily having the full truth or knowing that he remembered all...this aunt he trusted like no one else did something that was unforgivable. But Hecate was like a grandmother to him, much more than Gaia could be all things considered, and especially with the battle they continued their preparations for, he simply could not direct the bitterness that lodged in his chest and grew by the day at her. So on Emily he dumped it if she dared try to speak to him when he brought her someone or came with a message from Olympus. And she took it, never calling him on his mistreatment, always ready with a smile and a heart wide open to him still even if her mind couldn't quite understand why...

Grabbing his wrist, this woman who bore him many children before their last daughter who never was, from bodies she couldn't recall living in anymore, this woman who gave him thousands of years and countless lives if all the time her soul was his were totaled, asked him softly, "What was it that made you hate me, Hermes? What made you so cold toward me? Whatever it is, I am deeply sorry for it. Considering the way you have been hurt by the likes of your family and the kindness you show them all, I have to assume it was very bad. You don't trust me enough to tell me what haunts you. I am very sorry for that as well. I have heard some of the worst from your family, Aphrodite mostly...if you won't speak to me about the things they've done to hurt you, the things I did to hurt you, please find someone. You carry the weight of that pain in your eyes. Are you aware of that? When you look at your father or Hera or Hecate...when you look at me...it is nothing like the joy on your face when you see Aphrodite..."  

"When the battle comes, I will be fine to do my job. I don't need to sit on your fucking couch to accomplish what I must." His voice was very quiet but far from soft and he regretted the sharp edge in his tone immediately as he watched her eyes fill with tears.

"I don't care about the damned battle. I wasn't talking about the battle. I was talking about healing for your sake because even if you hate me, I know I have loved you before and I know that when I loved you, you loved me well. I can feel it. You deserve some happiness and you won't find it so long as you allow your family to walk all over you while you stuff down the past and the hurt their actions caused you...the hurt our actions caused you. So again, I am so sorry for whatever I did that caused you to ice me out."

"For all you know, maybe you did nothing to cause it. Maybe the blame lands entirely on my shoulders. It could be anything. You don't know what I am capable of and you don't remember any time but this one. Perhaps I am just a bastard to you because I am not whoever you think I am." 

He wasn't conscious of it but Emily noticed he turned toward her, coming just a little closer, his voice suddenly dripping with regret. He seemed as if he were fighting against himself as he took his thumb and wiped at her tears. He was sorry too. Emily could feel it. The ice between them was melting little by little...

"You are most likely even better than I believe you to be. You were no bastard toward me and whatever tore us apart, you played no role in it. Your love for me was deep once. I am not asking for that again. I would love it if we could be friends one day but only you know if that's possible. I just want to see you happy again..."

Emily paused. Hermes looked stunned and full of anticipation. There was a feeling of having a memory just out of reach...like it was on the tip of her tongue..."What did I mean, Hermes? 'Happy again'? Please, give me something..."

"If only I could. " His smile was soft and so goddamn sad as he stared into her soul, his gaze strong enough to have her holding her breath. "I want to kiss you, Dr. Emily..."

    "So kiss me, Hermes." She whispered, her eyes going down to his perfect full lips. Moving closer still, she whispered, "Please? Kiss me."

Gently, his lips grazed her's and he was so close, it was sweet torture...Instead of giving her what she needed, he pulled away, breaking from the shaky grip Emily had on his arm as she all but begged him to give her what she needed. Christ, but he wanted nothing more than to do just that! However, he could not. He had to remember the promise he made Hecate, even if she was the source of his greatest agony in recent memory. However, as he continued looking into Emily's eyes and he saw her physically bracing for his painful rejection, he couldn't stand to put the wall back up between them either. He promised Hecate he wouldn't touch this woman, his woman, yet? Very well. The preparations were nearly done. He was a God, older than humanity in its current form. Surely he had enough self control to build a foundation of love and friendship with her while keeping his hands (and his lips...especially his lips) to himself...right? 

His smile melted Emily from the inside out. It lit up every room he walked into, illuminating the darkest corners of her heart. "You want us to be friends, Em? I am bound to an oath that, for now, I must keep. For the sake of everything you love, I have no choice...Don't look so sad. Please. We will try it, being just friends. And I will start next Wednesday by telling you a story of love and loss that haunts me still...if you'll hear it..."

"Of course." She replied, a combination of hope and disappointment rippling off of her. 

"I won't tell you so you can therapize me, though. I helped write that Code of Ethics you swore on. You cannot be both my doctor of the mind and my friend. Which is more important to you? Would you rather be my therapist?"

"No. If it were up to me, I would rather be your friend...unless you need a therapist more? I cannot say why but I have this feeling...it's so strong I am sure it's right...Whatever happened between us before that made you protect yourself in your wall of ice, you were not given a choice in it. And if it cost me you, clearly whatever choice I made for us both was wrong. So what do you need me to be? Your therapist? Or a friend?"

 "You want to love me."

"Yes." She replied honestly.

"But you would sacrifice that option for me to be happy with someone else if it's what I thought was best?"

"Of course." 

"Unlock your mind, Em. You want me to trust you? When I come back to see you...not to work but to actually spend time just with you...I will make sure it is after your last appointment on Wednesday, after I have taken Odin back to his land of the Gods even though he is more than capable of traveling between the worlds. It will be just us. And I want your mind unlocked. Ok? If you want me to trust you, you have to trust me too.We will start there. I saw a new cafe that isn't far from your home. It is also a small used bookstore. You love such places and it has been too long since I have taken you out to a place you love. I'll meet you here and escort you home. Don't worry about getting all dolled up. You would be shocked to find out the states I have seen you in. You are beautiful in all of them. Friends hug, do they not?"

"Um...yeah. Friends hug." Emily replied absolutely gobsmacked by the turn this conversation took. 

Taking her in his arms, Hermes closed his eyes against the agony that radiated through his chest. This is what he tried to avoid for five years, an eternity for him as he saw her day after day pretending each gaze was anything less than agonizing. He was constantly waiting for her to show signs that she remembered all and each time he was left disappointed it only added another layer to the wall he felt he had to keep between them.  But what good was the wall when each day he was hurt all over again knowing he alone carried the weight of their past? As the year changed from 2025 to 2026, he held her and he relinquished all control once more to the Fates. He agreed he would not kiss her, that they would not get in bed with one another? Very well. He was nothing if not a God of his word. But he alone put the restraints on the idea of becoming friends first. If he were honest, he never dreamed of such a thing. He was so lost in grief for what they lost that the idea of building a foundation of this sort for the future never occurred to him. How human of him, sacrificing the present for regrets from the past. It took this tiny fragile human to remind him that he was capable of moving forward beyond the grief of loss. And it felt so good to have her in his arms again. He missed this all that time...deeply. "I am sorry I cannot give you a New Year's kiss. Humans and their traditions the modern world carries on without knowing the significance. But you know, don't you? Such a kiss is magic, sealing in love the whole year through."

Looking up at him, Emily couldn't stop smiling. It felt so good, so right, to be in the arms of this God she couldn't even get a 'hello' from twelve hours ago. "I have a feeling a kiss from you is pure magic no matter when I get it." She replied, giggling at her own cheesy honest declaration. 

Grinning at her, he looked relieved for a moment, as if a great pain was lifted at once from his soul. "We'll see what you think when the time comes. You might tire of me long before we get to that stage."

"Doubtful. Are you reluctant to go? I am used to you all but running out of my office...I feel like this is a moment to cherish."

"You have your pepper spray and you promise to walk with your key between your fingers until you are home? Don't you dare fall asleep on the train, Emily! You are not safe until you are home and you know I am right!"

He followed her home every night. She knew that. But it seemed like he wanted to pretend he didn't and after all he gave her, she was willing to let him have it. "I'll be safe." She replied, moving her arms up from around his small waist to his neck, taking in his beauty one last time, afraid tomorrow he would return to the way he was with her since they met, like Cinderella's coach becoming a pumpkin once more...

"You want me to trust in you? Have a little faith in me."

"Are you ever going to tell me how I hurt you?" She asked softly, her tone solemn,  like she knew all of the pieces would fall into place with such information.

"Even better...I'll prove to us both that it doesn't matter anymore the way it once did."

"That isn't healthy at all. If you want to build a solid friendship, you have to..."

"No therapizing, remember? Your next workday is Friday so I have no doubt Aphrodite will call on me later to make her arrangements to meet with you. Please promise you will tell her nothing about us. Nothing. Not yet."

"I promise." She affirmed, even though it felt a little bit like he was trying to keep her his dirty little secret and she did not like the feeling at all.

"Trust me, remember?"

"I do." She declared and she meant it. Even if it still hurt a little. Somehow she knew he had his reasons and his reasons were usually pretty good...

When he walked out she felt impossibly alone. Packing her bag full of notes she took by hand throughout the day to type up on her laptop at home, she was grateful tomorrow was a holiday, late as it was. It would have sucked to go home and type up all of her notes. Instead, she could go home, take a long hot shower, and watch Love Island while trying not to think of how Hermes would react to just an episode of her trashiest trash television...Imagine trying to explain that to a God...besides Aphrodite...one day she might have to invite over the Goddess of love (who thrived on drama and gossip) to indulge with her in her guiltiest pleasure because She might actually get it...

 

 

 

It's All Been Done Before

About a month ago, I heard someone say that there was a novel published in 1929 called Ex Wife that was written by a woman and it was all about the breakdown of her marriage (or the marriage of a female character). This was wild to me because I have a book I have been writing for ten years (because until this past year I could only write it in the summer....no, I don't know why...it just is what it is and I go with it) and in this novel, which starts in 1920 but goes through decades, at one point the main character and her estranged husband both write novels detailing the breakdown of their marriage. I have ordered this book to see what it's about but before it comes, I just want something with a date talking about what Amelia (the main character in the book) wrote about in her book about her marriage breakdown. Amelia's book is about meeting Fitz (her husband) through their great mutual friend, the three of them getting a place to live in Paris (where Amelia was born and raised) and she and Fitz falling in love and getting married. They are both writers and after they both experience success with their work, Fitz (an American) gets Amelia to come with him to New York where he develops a terrible alcohol addiction and goes from her loving kind husband to a cheating, hateful, at one point downright abusive man who is everything Fitz once despised about men. It culminates in him finally kicking out his mistress and drinking only what he needs to avoid DT's and for six months, Amelia has the man she fell in love with again... only to come home early from a meeting and find his mistress sitting in the living room with a baby that looks just like him leading her to walk out on him. Oh, and Amelia and Fitz also published their novels in 1929 (May to be precise). So let's see if Ex Wife is anything like the book Amelia wrote. I hope not but also I can't tell y'all how many times I have written something only to read a similar idea later on in another book (combining vampires and Atlantis, for instance). I truly think it's because many writers are pulling from the same place (I call it the Well of Inspiration) and damn it, I just wanted to make sure I got this shit posted somewhere with a time and date....just in case. 😂

In the Blink of an Eye (The Gods in Therapy)

Emily was startled to find herself in her office on a Skype call with the central air running and the tree outside of her window showing signs of Summer. How could that be? It was Spring just a moment before. And where was her daughter? Even as she worked, she kept her at her side. But there was no evidence of a baby in the large space around her. "Dr. Lieberman? Are you ok?" She knew the man on the screen. Arnold McDaniel, age forty three, divorced three years prior, father of three, Bipolar Type II... "Dr. Lieberman? You don't look so good."
       "I'm sorry. What were you saying?" Emily questioned. She was determined to make it through this appointment and then she would demand a God, any God, come explain to her what the hell was going on!
        "I was saying I am actually doing pretty good in quarantine, all things considered. Even though the city has officially opened up, my office is being smart and letting us all work from home because of how the cases are spiking so high every day. The combination of medications we've tried this time around are working so much better than the combinations before. I am just worried because two of the medicines say right on their information online that they lower your immune system.  Luckily I have a new friend...a lady friend, you know?" Arnie blushed and grinned from ear to ear as he said that. Even though Emily felt like she was in the Twilight Zone, she couldn't help but smile back. She couldn't remember the last time she saw him so happy. "Well, anyway, my friend Patty has been getting my groceries for me and all that. But she's also making me get out and walk around the park near my house and walk a few miles in my neighborhood so I don't feel closed in."
      Emily replied in her best 'Everything is Fine' voice, "It sounds like she is taking excellent care of you and I am very happy to hear that. Let me just pull up your information so I can get your scripts over to the pharmacy... " When she saw the date in the corner of her computer, she was truly in shock. This was impossible! How had she lost three months? Her hands started shaking violently as she tried to pull up Arnie's chart and get to his med list asking automatically, "Would you like them sent to the pharmacy on file?" He replied that he would an and she muted their chat while she used her own cell phone to call in the prescriptions that she sent over electronically. This was her job, something she did sometimes ten times a day. It was that alone that got her through this monotonous task, even as she felt like crawling out of her skin. This was wrong. Everything about this was wrong! Saying her goodbyes to Arnie, Emily checked her calendar and she realized he was the last patent of the day. 
       Closing down her computer, Emily thought about what she was sure of. Apparently, somehow, it was July. And apparently the virus was still a threat judging by what her patient told her and the fact that the appointment was online. This felt like a nightmare! And where the hell was her daughter? She wasn't sure but she was going to find out. Because she had no other ideas, she started shouting for Hecate over and over again until her voice was hoarse and she was in a full panic. Finally the Goddess came, large with child indicating that She was the Mother, Hecate's Summer self. "What the fuck is going on? And where the hell is my daughter? I want my baby, Hecate! Where the hell is she?"
        Emily knew by Her sigh that the news She had for her was not good and her heart sank. Putting Her hands on Emily's shoulders and looking her in her eyes, She said, "Your daughter does not exist here, Emily."
       Feeling the room spin around me, I sat on the couch with Hecate taking up the space at my side. "She's dead? Was it this goddamn virus? Oh, Mother..."
       Emily's entire body shook with the grief that welled up inside of her. It was unlike anything she felt before. She felt like a piece of her soul was ripped away and it physically hurt her as well. The ache for that precious baby girl was now a throb in her womb... "You misunderstand me. She isn't dead. In this reality, she never existed. You never conceived her, you never carried her, you never gave birth to her. She never was. Either was your relationship with Hermes. He took you to the land of Egypt's Gods and He brought you back to this very room but that was it. You've seen Him in passing as He has brought other Gods to your care but aside from brief hellos, the two of you have shared nothing."
        Minutes passed where all that could be heard were Emily's violent sobs as she slumped down onto the floor and lay in the fetal position as if to protect herself from the pain radiating inside and out. Finally she sobbed out, "How could you do this to me, Hecate? I trusted you..."
       "I did nothing. But I do agree with the decision." Getting down on the floor, Hecate scooped Emily up as if she were a child and She laid her gently in Her lap. "I am very sorry this happened to you. But it does not mean you will never be a mother. It does not mean you will never find love..."
       "Does He remember us? Does He remember our child?" Emily questioned, feeling as if she would not give the truth of the matter.
        "I cannot say. What I can tell you is that he has not mentioned you or the child since I brought you here to this reality so I think not. But I am not certain."
       "What was the point of you going out and searching for months to find my daughter just to allow this to happen?" Emily asked, trying to make sense out of a situation that made her feel completely insane. 
      "This decision was not made when I went out and searched for your daughter. The situation was not the same and when it changed, it was important that the child never came to be."
       "What situation? The virus?"
      Stroking Emily's beautiful dark brown hair, Hecate hurt for Her daughter deep in Her core. "No, not the virus. I cannot tell you the situation. But I can offer you relief if you so desire. I wanted it to be your choice. If you wish, I can wipe clean your memory of everything relating to Hermes, replacing it with the memories you would have had in this reality. But you must consider this. You will have not one shred of the love you shared or of your daughter's smile. There will be nothing of your little family left in your mind. The pain is great. I know that. But if you tell me you want your memory cleared of it all, you will get just that. Or you can choose to work through the pain and retain each moment of love and tenderness you shared with Hermes and the child you made. I can give you time to think about it..."
        "I don't need time. If I cannot get back what I lost, there is no point in carrying around the memories. They are empty and hollow. If this child of mine was never brought into existence, I do not want to recall the way she cooed or how she held tight to my finger..." Again the sobs came, gut wrenching for Hecate to hear. "Before you ask, I am sure. Take it all from me. It's gone already anyway."
       Hecate was actually surprised to hear Emily say that. She truly thought Emily would work through the pain and hold tight to the hope of one day being with Hermes and starting anew the life they briefly shared. But Hecate also felt Emily's certainty. And it wasn't Hecate's choice, after all. "Very well. I love you, Emily."
       "I love you too, Mother." 
       Emily felt the soft warm lips of the Goddess on her forehead, right where her third eye was. Closing her eyes, she was confused when she opened them and she realized she had been crying and Hecate held her in her lap. "What the hell happened?" Emily questioned. The last thing she remembered was talking to Arnie. 
       "You must've fallen asleep and had a bad dream because when I came in you were laying on the floor asleep and in tears. I was trying to wake you."
       Emily smiled the carefree smile of years before. Hecate knew the magick worked and all traces of the family she couldn't have was erased from Emily's mind. "What brought you here in the first place??"
        Thinking quickly, Hecate remembered Who was on Their way over for an appointment. "I came to remind you Athena and Hera are on Their way. It sounds like They are in the mood to bicker..."
       "Oh, Christ." Emily declared, getting up from the floor.
       Just then there was a soft knock at the door and when Emily told them to come in, she saw Hermes open the door. In walked Athena and Hera, bickering as Hecate said. Very little was likely to be accomplished if she couldn't do something to pull Them out of that mood. 
       "Hello." Hermes said. He had such a kind smile, Emily thought, and he was much better looking than she would have imagined from the myths. 
       "Hello." Emily replied, smiling brightly at him.
       "How goes things, Auntie?" Hermes asked Hecate.
       Shaking her head and looking as if She were almost disappointed, She replied, "Things are done, Nephew. That is how they go."
        Suddenly Hermes' whole face fell, as if something in Hecate's words made him extremely sad. The look on His face tugged at Emily's heart strings and she imagined hugging him...and kissing him...and...
         Hecate and Hermes walked out together leaving Emily with the two powerful irritated Goddesses before her. Smiling at Them, she tried to get the images she conjured up of going to bed with Hermes out of her head as she looked at Athena and Hera and declared, "Before we begin, I want the two of you to remember you love each other. So play nice...and play fair. You will regret it if you don't put the work in. Even if you are Deities, you never know what tomorrow will bring. Something could come along and rip the two of you away from each other in the blink of an eye. So Athena, let's start by telling Hera what she can do now as your mother figure to be closer to you..."

The Ancients Awaken (The Gods in Therapy)

Emily's life was in a state of disarray unlike any time before it. All of the Gods were unreachable, her new baby was defenseless in every way and needed every moment of her time, and despite the virus that shut down her world and her practice, she was still trying to see patients over Skype, facebook calls, or even through the phone. The fear over this new threat to human life had even her most stable patients scheduling time with her. Anxiety, depression, manic episodes, episodes of schizophrenia...all of it was coming up and she was often trying to help people through their fears while pushing down the terror in her own heart. The father of her child, Hermes, was as unreachable as the rest of them and she swung between moments of missing him so much her heart hurt and wanting to smash his dick with her hardback copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare the moment he dared darken her doorstep again. The not knowing was the worst part of it all just as it was for her patients and she couldn't remember the last day she was able to get through without crying. It was not a good time to be a new first time mother, especially alone and without a mother of her own to turn to, but she forced herself to keep the faith that there was a good reason for it all and that the Gods would explain it to her as soon as they could...
        Emily was stunned to see her office around her. But she felt the weight of the world lift from her heart when she saw her beloved Hecate, in Her maiden form, sitting on the couch across from her. "Where is my baby?" Emily cried, realizing the child that was normally on her at all times was not there.
       "This is a world of dreams. She is sleeping in her bed at your side back in the room your body is lying in. I needed to speak with someone who was not a deity but I need you to forget every word of this when I go."
       "The entire world is going to hell! It feels like the start of a horror movie out there! All of you, including the bastard that fathered my child, have ghosted me...and you want me to forget anything you tell me that might help me through this? Fuck that! That is not fair and you know it!"
        Hecate sighed and Emily realized, despite Her young looking face, how old and tired Her eyes looked. This was something she saw a few times from vampires. Their skin carried no sign of their age but they could not hide the centuries from their eyes. Never had she seen this from one of the deities and it put a chill down her spine. "So it is that bad? Goddamn it!"
       "I have not yet said a thing and already you have your conclusions. Take a breath and sit down. I've missed you. Hermes has missed the two of you so much it's distracting him so he will see you soon. There's no point in having him if he's not focused..." Again, Hecate sighed. "We knew this fight was coming but we believed we had more time. We did not prepare the way we should have. How human of us! The vampires, the Fay, and now us...one after the other these gates have opened, forces in our case that even the oldest among us cannot remember. These forces are not Gods yet once they were worshiped and they have no names yet without them there would be no life. And they are angry, Emily. They are so angry! How do you fight something with no body and more power than we've ever seen? I know it can be done. I know it has been done. All of us have myths that humans long forgot about the oldest of our Gods fighting them. You cannot kill them because to kill them is to kill their energy and the energy of each one is necessary for life. But we must put them back to sleep, so to speak, and we have worked incessantly on trying to do just that. Every God from every Pantheon is there. We have even consulted with the Titans, something that took a great deal for me to do. But everything we've tried so far has failed."
        There was a thought that haunted Emily when she was up alone at night looking on the precious face of her daughter. But she couldn't push it away. "With the timing and all...I've been wondering...do you suppose the baby had anything to do with all of this?"
        "I don't believe so. As I've said before, we knew it was coming. The battle will come in waves. This is just the first. And we all agree that it would've happened with or without your daughter." Hecate replied.
        This made Emily grateful because it was a bone deep fear she couldn't shake. She knew mythology well enough to know, if it was her daughter causing it, even Hecate would not be able to keep them safe. As the two of them sat in silence, however, it dawned on Emily that regardless of the cause, as defeated as Hecate seemed in the moment, humans had just cause to fear and it was possible that Hecate wouldn't be able to save them anyway...
       "This will not wipe out all of humanity. Not the virus. Because the world you live in is not used to such a plague of sorts, it may feel like the end. But it certainly isn't. What we are dealing with is much larger than this virus. I do not mean to sound so flippant. I understand why this seems so terrifying. There are very few humans alive who witnessed the influenza pandemic over one hundred years ago so none of you in the developed world have any experience with this and the uncertainty is as terrifying as the virus itself. I do not mean to sound as if I do not sympathize with that because I do. This is why I had to bring you here because I need to tell someone...There are things much worse with far more power to wipe out your species than this virus. Even here I cannot tell you exactly what to do to calm these ancient energies. But I can tell you...If everyone is feeding the ancients their fear and anger and worry, that is what the energies will respond with. You do not want that! I cannot stress this enough!"
        "How the hell are we supposed to respond if not with fear, Hecate! I am not trying to disrespect you but Christ! I have patients who have had no symptoms of their illnesses in years who are one bad day away from snapping completely! I have so many new patient requests from people who have never dealt with panic or anxiety or depression before and they are suddenly having panic attacks or they are so deep into depression that they cannot get out of bed! People are losing their whole family in a matter of weeks and on top of that, they have been laid off from their jobs so they now have no money and no health insurance! What should they do?"
       Emily was in tears thinking about all of the suffering that was going on around the world. As if what people were going through a year ago wasn't bad enough! The homelessness, the debt, the hunger... "I did not say there was no reason to fear. Of course there is! A deity I may be but you will never find one among us who has spent more time with humans. Your history tells you man began at one date but I know your kind to go back much much farther. I've seen all of this before. And I know what the other people did in the cycles before. I know what works and what does not. While these energies have slept a long long time there are others like them that I have known. Change will come one way or another. People have before them a chance for great incredible change. You know history. This is the part of the chapter in a history book where it speaks of people having the option to go one way or another...Do what you can to guide people toward positive change. But also...encourage meditation, prayer, magick...While remaining in your quarantine of course. If people put out love and peace, it will be amplified and spread across the globe but so it will be with fear and hatred. Empires fall. Always. But society? Society changes, it grows, it evolves, and it becomes what each generation shapes it into. Sculpt it well and a decade from now, humans can have the most incredible society your history has ever known."
         "And if we resist this change?"
       "You will truly get a nightmare. No one wants that. I certainly do not. So I will try to send you all the best while I am away. As I said before, Hermes will be back to you quite soon. He's been useless to us anyway. He needs you and you need him. He will have to return to us when it is needed. There is no getting around that. It was a terrible time to have a child with a God." 
        Hecate's smile put Emily at ease for the first time since they all disappeared. For just a moment she held on to her tattered belief that all was going to turn out ok. 
       "Are you hearing our prayers right now?" Emily questioned, steeling herself for a 'no' in response.
       "Of course. Even when I am distant, I am with you, my child. Whatever happens might shake your faith in many things but never let it shake your faith in that. God, Fay, vampire, and human alike...We are all doing the best we can. Just keep doing your best. This will be over soon. Start thinking, though, of how you will all rebuild from the rubble because that will be the most important decision of your lives."
        "What good is it to tell me any of this if I am not allowed to remember?"
        "You will remember enough."
      Emily awoke alone in her bed, her daughter's screams cutting through her dreams. She wasn't sure why but she felt much less alone and much more certain than she had in weeks. Certain of what? She wasn't sure. But she felt like Hermes would walk through the door any day now and she also felt like she needed to find some good meditations for her patients to try. While she stroked her daughter's cheek and watched her feed, feeling the small weight of the baby against her stomach, she also had this feeling like the world her daughter would one day inherit was going to be a much better place than the hellish environment she herself was born into. They all just had to make it to the other side of this....
                                                                                 

Quarantine Free Book Giveaway

These are strange times we find ourselves in. There is a lot of fear and uncertainty and while it seems like we are living in a horror movie (the part at the beginning of course...right as the zombie outbreak starts...the part often broken down by flashes of the news...you get it...lmao) and that, of course, scares the hell out of us....The way energy works, like attracts like. The more we fear, the more fear we create. Everything is a mess right now and the people in charge are worried about handing the rich and powerful more money and power while it feels like we are drowning....Take a deep breath. Many of us are under an order from our state to stay in our house unless you must leave. And that sucks. It's going to last at least another month. And that sucks too. But catching this damned virus and dying or unknowingly giving it to someone else who dies? It's worth it to stay in the house. And to help everyone find something to do, I am doing a Quarantine Giveaway  on the Kindle versions of my books throughout the month of April. You can only run the giveaways for four days so the giveaways have been broken up.
It starts tomorrow, April 3rd, and it ends on April 7th. As I said, as far as I know, this only includes the Kindle version but once you have them, you have them forever until you delete them.
Here's the link.
https://www.amazon.com/Beauty-Beast-Battle-Evermore-Book-ebook-dp-B00K425LCG/dp/B00K425LCG/ref=mt_kindle?_encoding=UTF8&me=&qid=1585868407

On April 10 to the 14th, Rapunzel will be free. 
https://www.amazon.com/Battle-Evermore-Book-Two-Rapunzel-ebook/dp/B01M2WZHXN/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1585869274&sr=8-8

Sleeping Beauty or Briar Rose will be free from April 17th-21st.
https://www.amazon.com/Bloody-Briar-Rose-Sleeping-Evermore-ebook/dp/B07BV6J3F5/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=keair+snyder&qid=1585869274&sr=8-4

And then the first part of Castles Made of Sand is free from April 20th-24th.
https://www.amazon.com/Castles-Made-Sand-Part-One-ebook/dp/B0727MW262/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=keair+snyder&qid=1585869274&sr=8-3

I can't give money toward this madness because I have none. I am not a doctor or a nurse. Really, to help people right now, the only thing I can give is this. I know people are terrified. I am too. I know so many people don't know where their next paycheck is coming from. People can't afford books right now but to calm the mind and take them away from ALL of this for just a little while...they need books. So if you are interested, follow the links on the days listed and snatch them up. I am no Stephen King and I don't claim to be. But I am a good writer and I will say that my books are much better than any one of the Twilight novels....Low bar. I know. lol Also, I am a much better writer than the chick who wrote 50 Shades of Gray and when I do have sex scenes, they don't sound like they were written by an alien. lol The point is, if you are interested in a fantasy horror historical fiction combo, you might really like the three vampire novels and if you want a really good novel set in the '60's, Castles has you covered.

I love you all. Stay safe. Be strong. We will get through this and we will thrive on the other side.

The Great Return (The Gods in Therapy)

      Emily heard her baby crying for her in her dreaming mind. This was not the first time such a thing happened since her child was stolen but each time poured salt in a wound that would never heal. Like before, her breasts, swollen and aching from milk for a child she might never see again, started their leaking at the sound. Even in her sleep she could feel her dirty shirt soak with it. And then came the tears. She had no control over them, no more than she could control the milk flowing from her breasts. Every single piece of her, every atom in her being, ached for her daughter. And even in her sleep she was once more forced to come to terms with the fact that she may never get her child back and that ache might not ever go away...
        "Emily! My love, wake up! Emily, we have her. Come on now...we have her! Look! Just open your eyes and look..."
        Emily resented Hermes to the point of temporarily hating him for rousing her from her slumber. And to use such a ploy to try and wake her? "You are a son of a bitch just like your father!" She accused in a nasty tone that startled the father of her child. She did not look like herself, that was true, but that he could put down to her two weeks in bed. There was no accounting for that sharp tone of voice. She sounded nothing like the Emily who lay in bed at his side exactly two weeks before...the Emily he loved...and there was part of him who feared that woman would never return even if their child had.
         Emily did open her eyes as she cursed him and she saw that he did hold in his arms a naked newborn baby girl who was screaming at the top of her lungs for her mother's arms. Her body knew the child at once but her mind was playing tricks on her. She didn't believe him. Not at all. Her mind created a scenario where he was tired of seeing her laying in bed all day so he, this docile creature, went out and stole a human baby from her mother just to get Emily's lazy ass up. Rolling over to the other side, she demanded in that voice that was not her own, "Take it back wherever you got it! That is not my child!"
          "But she is, Em! We found her in a cave off the coast of Crete and Auntie as well. She's greeting everyone in the living room right now but she'll be along shortly. I would never steal a baby. You know that. You are just afraid and that's ok. What happened to us...to you...it was despicable. You will probably be shaken for years to come. Hecate explained it to me on the way here. But she is our Alina and she wants her mother. She's very hungry..."
          "Then make her a fucking bottle! You are a God. That auntie of yours is literally the Goddess of women and babies. I am sure you can go to the store and figure out formula. Just go away!"
         There was a rational voice left inside her mind, a small fragment of the real her that was not completely shattered by what happened to her on Yule, and that voice told her to shut the fuck up and take her crying baby. That voice told her to shut the fuck up and embrace the one thing she wanted with all of her heart from the moment she realized the baby was gone. But that voice was no longer in control. And the irrational bitch who was in control saw things a little differently. 
         Hermes stood beside of the bed gobsmacked by her reaction. Holding his screaming child in his arms, tears filled his eyes to think of the pain Alina would feel to be rejected by her mother. It was a pain he knew all too well. The tears were as much for Emily as they were for their baby. Hecate warned him all the way to Emily's home that handing her the baby would not fix her, that her problem now ran deeper than that, that Emily was suffering from what the humans called postpartum depression, possibly stemming from the kidnapping and was, at the least, fed by it. "I will do what I can to lead her through it but she needs a doctor like herself." Hecate told him. He didn't believe her. He felt stupid now to not listen to the Goddess who watched after these women with their babies for more years than humans believed their species existed...but he didn't. He truly believed he would put their sweet precious girl in her arms, the baby would latch on to her mother's breast, and all would be healed...
        "Give me the baby and go say hello to your Hermaphroditus. They've kept watch over Emily every day that we've been gone. They deserve a thank you."
        "Of course." Hermes said softly, handing Hecate the baby who was now turning dark red from her screaming. For a moment he couldn't walk away, he could not leave Emily's side again. No choice in the whole of his existence was as hard as the one he had to make to leave the mother in order to find the child. Never would Emily need him the way she needed him the past two weeks and perhaps if he would have been there for her...
       "Go." Hecate said firmly but softly, patting his cheek with a smile. He knew she would do all she could for the woman she considered her child. He knew Emily had a very hard past and it was Hecate who guided her through every pain and trauma in her life. But still he wondered...what if she could not guide her through this one? What would become of his sweet love?
       When Hermes was gone, Hecate did what she felt she had to do. She went over to the other side of the bed, laid beside of Emily, raised her filthy shirt, and put the baby between them so she could nurse. There was fire in Emily's eyes when they shot open staring right at the Goddess she loved with all of her heart. "You want to hit me? Hit me. If you need someone to take all of this pain and fury out on, you'll do me no harm. Take it all out on me. But let your child eat first. I kept her protected in that cave with a spell that froze time but as soon as it was broken, she felt that primal hunger she was born with and she needs your milk. I know you are hurting, child. I know it's not just what happened with the child. You have postpartum. You know that. You were a damn good student and you've been damn good at your job since then. If you were a woman who walked into your office, what would you recommend? You would say analysis once a week, perhaps a mood stabilizing medication, and try to bond with the child you are afraid to love. So let's start there. And don't be surprised if you go from being afraid to bond with her to not wanting her to leave your side. As for the rest, I found an old friend of yours from college, Cassandra Graves, and as it turns out, she practices general therapy but she is very good with postpartum. I thought since she is a familiar face, it might make it easier for you to open up at your therapy sessions..."
       "Who in the hell do you think you are?" Emily demanded, though Hecate took note of the fact that she was adjusting herself to sit up against the pillows and she was shifting her baby to the other breast.
       "I am your mother! That's who I am! And I'll be damned if I wait until you do harm to yourself or you sink so low with the depression you already have that you cannot come back before I do something! You have just been through the darkest days you will likely ever face in your life. What happened to you was horrible! All of the ugly things in your past could not compare with that trauma and pain. But as I have always tried to remind you, the dawn follows the night, spring follows winter, and this is your sunrise. Now we just need to get you help. It's hard to see the sunrise if you are blind, isn't it? It's not your fault that you have her in your arms and you still can't feel the joy of it. It's not your fault you cannot see. But Cassandra is very good with patients of postpartum and she will help you."
       "How could you possibly know what she is good at?" Emily questioned, but her tone was softer, more herself.
        "The same way all humans find out all things about their doctors before booking appointments. I read the damn reviews on her yelp page."
          Just an hour before Emily felt as if she would never smile again, let alone laugh. A belly laugh was certainly out of the question. Yet the thought of this all powerful Goddess reading reviews for a girl Emily used to know on a yelp page made her laugh until she cried...and then the tears came for real. Holding her full, content, sleeping baby to her chest, skin on skin the way hospitals suggest, she wept so hard she shook with the fury of it. It was then that Hecate brought Hermes in and he held her while his aunt made Emily a hot bath full of herbs meant to wash away not just the physical dirt and grime but all of the dirt and grime that collected in her psyche for the past fortnight. Putting the baby in a little rocker close to the bathtub where Emily could watch her, Hermes helped Emily clean off the pain while Hecate took Emily's sheets and her dirty clothes behind her home and, ignoring all city ordinances, she set them on fire. The girl had more and those were full of so much pain and hurt it would be unwise to ever use them again. Besides, since that was where Emily stayed and what she wore all of that time with all of that pain, burning them would release all of that negativity so it could go out into the universe and be cleansed, so the energy could become something else entirely. 
         Emily ate a huge meal of lasagna, salad, and garlic bread, her first meal since having the baby. She was famished but in all of that time she didn't notice...not until she was more herself. And by the end of that day she was more herself...though not entirely. "When is that appointment you intruded on my life to make?" Emily asked, tongue in cheek, while Hermes slept on the floor and she and Hecate took turns holding Alina on the couch while watching New Jersey Housewives (Hecate's favorite franchise). 
        "Don't worry, I wrote it on your calendar. It typically takes six weeks for a new patient but when I talked to Cassandra directly and I told her who you are and how severe your case is, she did the best she could, getting you in next Friday at five. It's an hour after your appointments usually end...in case you are still in therapy when you go back to work.
        "That was very considerate of you. Thank you." Grabbing Hecate's hand, Emily found herself in tears again, much to her embarrassment. "Thank you for going with her and protecting her and for trying to prepare Hermes for me and for kicking my ass out of that bed. You've never given up on me. Even when I cursed you and I refused to listen to you and I stopped believing you had the answers...never ever did you give up on me. You truly are my Mother."
        "Yes, I am, so you don't have to thank me for being a mother. You haven't asked yet what happened the day Alina was born. Don't you want to know?"
        "If I knew, would I worry?" Emily asked.
         "Very much." Hecate replied honestly.
        "Can I do a damn thing about it?"
         Hecate smiled. This was a new level of insight from her inquistive daughter who always had to know...no matter what it was...even to her own determent. "What you can do you've done already by giving birth to your daughter."
        "Is she safe from this thing for now?" Emily questioned with fearing burning in her eyes once more.
       "Yes." Hecate replied, hoping she was right.
        "Then I don't want to know. I love you and if you ever need something from me, all you have to do is tell me. So please don't take this the wrong way. But that is your fight. Right now, getting through the darkness in my head is mine. But I do know it would have been much worse if you would not have gone with her...and I know that's what happened. No one took you. You are Hecate. You saw you couldn't save her from being grabbed and you went with her. You saved her...and in saving her you saved me. So thank you for that so much. I love you with all of my heart."
        "I love you too." Hecate replied, refusing to confirm Emily's suspicions. Turning her attention toward the television, she gestured at the women there, declaring, "I will never understand why Teresa ever had anything to do with Danielle. Ten years ago she was the prostitution whore...which she is, by the way,...and now she is her best friend. What a snake in the grass that bitch Danielle is..."
        Even Witches wouldn't believe the scene they painted, a Goddess, a human, and a demi Goddess sitting on a sectional watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey and Emily was already thinking of ways to change certain details about her life and situation when she went to see her college roommate as a patient  but already the agony of those impossible fourteen days was fading as such pain must fade if humans are to carry on through trauma. Emily was not well yet. She was a long way from her normal self. But with her child sleeping on her chest, she at least felt like a person again. And that was a pretty good start. 

The Yule-Tide Child (The Gods in Therapy)

                                                 December 21st, 2019
      All of Olympus shook with the force of Emily's screams as Hermes rushed to bring her to Hecate. Shortly after midnight, Emily awoke from a dead sleep with the Braxton-Hicks contractions that plagued her for two weeks intensified into the real deal. Taking deep breaths, she struggled into the bathroom, meaning to draw herself a warm bath. She knew enough to know that with her first baby it could take up to an entire day to birth her child...ordinarily. Considering she was giving birth to a demi-God, she also knew that she could not count on anything being as it should be. As she breathed her way through another terribly intense contraction, warm water came from her nether-regions, almost as if she peed herself but without the feeling of actually releasing her bladder. The warm water pooled around her feet, coming in a steady way, as if it would never stop. Even as she sat down in the hot water of her bath, still it came. And so did the pain. Hermes was sleeping in her bed and she wanted very much to wake him up. Feeling such agony alone in the middle of the night was nearly panic inducing. But she did not want to need him in that way. So she did not scream when the pains came, closer and closer together, but she could not stop her mind from yelling out to the God who fathered the babe in her womb. And apparently these silent screams awoke Hermes, who knew at once what he would find in the bathroom. 
        "Emily...Emily...open your eyes! You are bleeding. You should not be bleeding. Come now, we must get you out and dress you so I can take you to Hecate. We have no time to waste."
         Emily heard his voice as if in a dream and she was limp in his arms as he pulled her from the bathtub. She was losing blood quickly and the situation was fast becoming dire but because of the blood loss, she felt no fear. She felt nothing but the pain through the incredible fog in her mind. She paid little attention as Hermes put a gown on her and a robe, which she was rather grateful for as she felt chills coming on. She tried so hard to hold on to her mind, to see through the fog, but in the end it was all she could do to remember why the pain was wracking her body. 
          By the time they made it to Olympus, Emily was completely incoherent. Hermes was terrified, thinking only of how fragile humans were. As he carried Emily's limp body, cringing at her heartbreaking screams that seemed absolutely primal in their intensity, he knew beyond a doubt that he loved her. The blood was flowing far too quickly and as soon as he saw Hecate, he all but shoved Emily's body at her. "She's dying, Aunt. She is dying."
         Hecate saw what her nephew was talking about at once and she also heard the fear caused by his love for the girl in his words. She always had a soft spot for him, partially because he had a heart of gold and he never gave a damn what anyone said about it. She loved Emily as well, the little girl with the cruel mother who cried out for Hecate's love long before her conscious mind knew who Hecate was. And Hecate knew what the child Emily carried in her womb was meant to be in the human world, the importance of that little girl struggling to come into the world. So it was with conviction that she declared, "She will not die if I have anything to say on it. I need you to fetch me Freya and Oshun and Brigit. I will call for Eileithyia myself. Tell them of the situation. And remind them of the child's importance. It is urgent that you be quick. We haven't much time."
        That was all the instruction he needed. Hecate blinked and Hermes was gone. She was glad of that. Calling for her niece, daughter of Hera and Zeus, the Goddess of childbirth whom she taught herself when the girl was just a child, she took Emily to a room set up with clean linens, herbs, and every instrument one could find in a modern hospital, she lay her on the bed and immediately went to work with magick and herbs to stop the bleeding, finding the source was ruptured placenta. With the aid of her niece, she was able to stop the bleeding, dull the pain, and bring Emily around in a matter of moments, though it felt like an eternity to her. In her most soothing voice, she gave instructions to Emily. She told her when to breathe, when to rest, and when the time came, she would instruct her on how to push. Hermes was back before it came to that, something Hecate was grateful for. He also had with him his child by Aphrodite who was apparently quite excited about the prospect of a new baby sister, even if she was half mortal. 
         At some point, while the Goddesses took turns giving Emily water and crackers to keep her strength up and herbs when it was needed, they got into a discussion about Freya's Hall, the place where the spirits of women who die in childbirth went in the Nordic beliefs. Emily, who was getting stronger every moment, commented on how Freya's Hall was judged compared with Odin's leading Freya to set straight the way of things. "The people who called on us thousands of years ago saw our Halls as the same. They knew warriors were important. Of course they were. Long before the people humans now call Vikings went out raiding, war was used to protect the villages, death that was essential to life. Women were always free to pursue the path of the warrior if they were so called. However, my people were not stupid. They knew that without birth, which sometimes included the sacrifice of the mother's life, there was no life. Women could find themselves in Odin's Hall but no man would ever come into mine and mine was considered the Hall of the bravest women. The Halls were equal in importance until much later when so much of our stories were twisted. But we, the Gods, did not forget just because our people did. My Hall is still revered. Not that you need worry about that. You will not be joining the souls of those lost to childbirth because you are not dying today. Hecate, I believe it is time for her to push."
         And it was. Hermes did as his aunt instructed, getting behind Emily to support her body with his own while holding her legs with all of his strength. He whispered words of encouragement and tenderness but it was not until she was giving all she had to that last push that he finally kissed her cheek and whispered, "I love you, Em. I love you so much. And I love this child. The two of you brightened up everything for me and I'm so happy we're here. Just a little more. Just a little more and she'll be here. You are doing beautiful, incredible girl. Just a little more..."
        Cheers erupted throughout the room when the baby was out. Hecate cleaned her off with towels and wrapped her in a soft blanket to put her on Emily's chest. Hermes held them both, even as Emily pushed out the afterbirth that recently held the child in her womb, so proud to have this new little family even if he wasn't sure how their lives together would turn out. He did not belong in Emily's world and she did not belong in his. Yet they belonged to each other, he knew that, and now they built a bridge with this beautiful little demi-Goddess who was already latched onto her mother's breast. "Alina. I believe that is what we should call her. It means 'light'. She was born on your Winter Solstice just as the Sun would be rising in your world. It is perfect."
         Emily looked up at him and smiled. She looked gorgeous in her exhausted state and he wanted to kiss her all over. "That is a beautiful name." Looking down at their daughter, she said softly, "You told me you love me. I love you too. I did not mean for this to happen. I didn't expect it. I was just trying to help the Gods pull themselves together for whatever it is that's coming. I was not looking for love or a family. In fact, I never intended to have children. Coming from what I came from, I thought it best to let that gene pool die with me. But I have felt like all of this was meant to be since the first time I met you. You were not like the others. It was..."
         "Like your soul knew me?" Hermes questioned. 
        "Yeah." She replied suspiciously. 
       He was grateful that she was too drained to question him as he was not yet ready to tell her the entire truth on why her soul knew him. Instead she laid back against him with Alina still at her breast and she went into a deep sleep. He watched them for the longest time, stroking Emily's wet hair away from her face and running his finger along the soft skin of his daughter's cheek. When the baby was done eating, he got out of the bed softly, laying Emily against the many pillows his aunt put on the bed, and he took his daughter in his arms for the first time. Just like the love he felt for his beloved Hermaphroditus, he felt an instant wave of love and affection like no other. And he let that love wash over him as he sang to his daughter an old song in Greek that Hecate used to sing to him when he was quite small.
         Emily awoke once to see Hermes with the baby, singing a beautiful song to her. Sure that the child was safe, she rolled over, ignoring the pain in her body, and she went back to sleep. An hour later she woke to find the baby in Hecate's arms as Hecate told the newborn a story about a dragon and a faery and the gifts they give baby girls upon their births. Satisfied once more that all was well, she let sleep take her again. Then came the terrified shouts of Gods throughout Olympus declaring Hecate and Emily's newborn daughter gone...
        "What is it? What's happened?" Emily demanded. All of the Gods were gathered in the large Hall they met in to discuss serious matters and a few of them, Hermes included, moved at once to help her to a seat. "I don't want to sit down. I want to know where the hell my baby is!" Emily declared even as she let them help her into the seat offered to her.
       The conversation, so animated when she came in, stopped at once. Everyone looked at Hermes, silently declaring it his place to tell her. Taking both of her hands in his own, he stooped down to his knees and told her all they knew. "Hecate had Alina in the room with you. The Goddesses that assisted in the birth needed to return home so I took them. When I returned no one could find Hecate or Alina."
       "But that makes no sense. Who the hell could be powerful enough to snatch Hecate. Is it that Atlantian vampire? You all said she is one of the only beings more powerful that Hecate."
          "No, it wasn't her. She is actually leading the search for Hecate right now, terrified for her friend and for you. She knows what it is to have your newborn child taken from you and she is determined to find them."
         "Then who? Who could possibly manage this?" Emily demanded. She never felt a cold panic like the chill sitting in her chest as she demanded answers.
         "Alina is special, as you know, because she is a tipping point in favor of the Gods and humanity. The fight that is to come will be against Gods much older than any of us. Your earth has had so many cycles of life that humans have yet to rediscover and each cycle had its own Gods. These Gods were sleeping, if you will. But we believe the birth of Alina has woken one of them. A god that old, that primal, could kidnap Hecate. But all is not lost. We've sent word to each pantheon and we are forming search parties. We will find them. I promise you that. We will find them." Athena declared. Everything about her looked wild as if she were itching for the fight to come. Hecate was one of the most important people in her life and she would die to bring her home safe, Emily knew that. But Emily felt absolutely defeated. She felt as if she had true bliss for a sweet moment and already it was gone. And she could not deal with its absence after feeling its sweet embrace.
        "I want to go home." She declared in a monotone voice to Hermes.
        "But don't you want to stay here and rest...and be here for any updates?" He questioned. "You had a rough birth. I must go look for Hecate and our baby. You should not be alone."
         "I'll be fine. The only update I am interested in is you finding my baby. If you ever see her again, bring her to me. In the meantime, I want to go home."
         Hermes couldn't keep her there against her will. But he did get Hermaphroditus to stay with her while the other Gods searched. As he carried the woman he loved back to her home, he saw the tears she shed and he felt the incredible ache in her heart. It was as if her entire body throbbed with it. But she said nothing to him. He knew all about her past although he was certain she did not know he did. He knew of the hurt and pain that was thrown at her since the day she was born. He knew that she did not know how to lean on someone else when horrible things happened because she did not have anyone to lean on before. He wanted nothing more than to stay with her and show her that he could be relied upon to be there for her but he had to find Alina if he wanted to put an end to the pain in her heart. So he fixed the bed to make it as comfortable as he could for her, he found her a clean pair of PJ's, drew her a bath and helped her clean up, and he helped her dress and get into bed. Again and again he told her how much he loved her, how sorry he was that he didn't protect their child, and he promised to find them both and bring them home to her. But she said nothing. It was like someone switched off a light inside of her. 
        It wasn't until he was preparing to go, leaving a steaming cup of coffee on her bedside stand, that she snapped out of it long enough to grab his hand. Pressing it to her lips, she told him she loved him, that she didn't blame him at all, and she just wanted her baby back. Kissing her all over her face, he promised he would give her that no matter what it took. And what would it take? No one was sure. None of them had ever faced an old God and no one knew how many woke with the birth of the demi-Goddess. But if it took every pantheon to accomplish it, even if it was the end of Hermes, he would keep that promise to the woman he loved. Because he didn't want to worry her anymore, he said nothing like that. But he knew it was possible. 
        For days on end everyone searched and when he could, he came to check on Emily, sometimes laying in bed just so he could hold her. His oldest child told him each time that Emily would not get out of bed. She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't bathe or change her clothes. She did nothing but sleep. It was as if she were resolved not to wake until her child was brought back to her. So when Hermes was there he tried to get her up. But it was no use. The more they looked for Hecate and Alina, the more universes and realms they crossed off the list, the more terrified he became. The fact was, there were infinite places that they might have been taken and no one knew what the effects of the place could have on them. He could find a daughter fully grown in a month's time depending on where she was. And he never forgot that. But when he held Emily and he felt the utter defeat coming from her, he knew he had to keep trying until he succeeded. Humans were fragile but their minds were strong and if she willed herself to give up...a chill went down his spine at the thought. He had to fix what happened for everyone's sake. He had to bring the child of light back to her mother...back to the earth. And he had to see to it that Hecate was brought back as well because what was their Pantheon without her?