"I'm sorry. What were you saying?" Emily questioned. She was determined to make it through this appointment and then she would demand a God, any God, come explain to her what the hell was going on!
"I was saying I am actually doing pretty good in quarantine, all things considered. Even though the city has officially opened up, my office is being smart and letting us all work from home because of how the cases are spiking so high every day. The combination of medications we've tried this time around are working so much better than the combinations before. I am just worried because two of the medicines say right on their information online that they lower your immune system. Luckily I have a new friend...a lady friend, you know?" Arnie blushed and grinned from ear to ear as he said that. Even though Emily felt like she was in the Twilight Zone, she couldn't help but smile back. She couldn't remember the last time she saw him so happy. "Well, anyway, my friend Patty has been getting my groceries for me and all that. But she's also making me get out and walk around the park near my house and walk a few miles in my neighborhood so I don't feel closed in."
Emily replied in her best 'Everything is Fine' voice, "It sounds like she is taking excellent care of you and I am very happy to hear that. Let me just pull up your information so I can get your scripts over to the pharmacy... " When she saw the date in the corner of her computer, she was truly in shock. This was impossible! How had she lost three months? Her hands started shaking violently as she tried to pull up Arnie's chart and get to his med list asking automatically, "Would you like them sent to the pharmacy on file?" He replied that he would an and she muted their chat while she used her own cell phone to call in the prescriptions that she sent over electronically. This was her job, something she did sometimes ten times a day. It was that alone that got her through this monotonous task, even as she felt like crawling out of her skin. This was wrong. Everything about this was wrong! Saying her goodbyes to Arnie, Emily checked her calendar and she realized he was the last patent of the day.
Closing down her computer, Emily thought about what she was sure of. Apparently, somehow, it was July. And apparently the virus was still a threat judging by what her patient told her and the fact that the appointment was online. This felt like a nightmare! And where the hell was her daughter? She wasn't sure but she was going to find out. Because she had no other ideas, she started shouting for Hecate over and over again until her voice was hoarse and she was in a full panic. Finally the Goddess came, large with child indicating that She was the Mother, Hecate's Summer self. "What the fuck is going on? And where the hell is my daughter? I want my baby, Hecate! Where the hell is she?"
Emily knew by Her sigh that the news She had for her was not good and her heart sank. Putting Her hands on Emily's shoulders and looking her in her eyes, She said, "Your daughter does not exist here, Emily."
Feeling the room spin around me, I sat on the couch with Hecate taking up the space at my side. "She's dead? Was it this goddamn virus? Oh, Mother..."
Emily's entire body shook with the grief that welled up inside of her. It was unlike anything she felt before. She felt like a piece of her soul was ripped away and it physically hurt her as well. The ache for that precious baby girl was now a throb in her womb... "You misunderstand me. She isn't dead. In this reality, she never existed. You never conceived her, you never carried her, you never gave birth to her. She never was. Either was your relationship with Hermes. He took you to the land of Egypt's Gods and He brought you back to this very room but that was it. You've seen Him in passing as He has brought other Gods to your care but aside from brief hellos, the two of you have shared nothing."
Minutes passed where all that could be heard were Emily's violent sobs as she slumped down onto the floor and lay in the fetal position as if to protect herself from the pain radiating inside and out. Finally she sobbed out, "How could you do this to me, Hecate? I trusted you..."
"I did nothing. But I do agree with the decision." Getting down on the floor, Hecate scooped Emily up as if she were a child and She laid her gently in Her lap. "I am very sorry this happened to you. But it does not mean you will never be a mother. It does not mean you will never find love..."
"Does He remember us? Does He remember our child?" Emily questioned, feeling as if she would not give the truth of the matter.
"I cannot say. What I can tell you is that he has not mentioned you or the child since I brought you here to this reality so I think not. But I am not certain."
"What was the point of you going out and searching for months to find my daughter just to allow this to happen?" Emily asked, trying to make sense out of a situation that made her feel completely insane.
"This decision was not made when I went out and searched for your daughter. The situation was not the same and when it changed, it was important that the child never came to be."
"What situation? The virus?"
Stroking Emily's beautiful dark brown hair, Hecate hurt for Her daughter deep in Her core. "No, not the virus. I cannot tell you the situation. But I can offer you relief if you so desire. I wanted it to be your choice. If you wish, I can wipe clean your memory of everything relating to Hermes, replacing it with the memories you would have had in this reality. But you must consider this. You will have not one shred of the love you shared or of your daughter's smile. There will be nothing of your little family left in your mind. The pain is great. I know that. But if you tell me you want your memory cleared of it all, you will get just that. Or you can choose to work through the pain and retain each moment of love and tenderness you shared with Hermes and the child you made. I can give you time to think about it..."
"I don't need time. If I cannot get back what I lost, there is no point in carrying around the memories. They are empty and hollow. If this child of mine was never brought into existence, I do not want to recall the way she cooed or how she held tight to my finger..." Again the sobs came, gut wrenching for Hecate to hear. "Before you ask, I am sure. Take it all from me. It's gone already anyway."
Hecate was actually surprised to hear Emily say that. She truly thought Emily would work through the pain and hold tight to the hope of one day being with Hermes and starting anew the life they briefly shared. But Hecate also felt Emily's certainty. And it wasn't Hecate's choice, after all. "Very well. I love you, Emily."
"I love you too, Mother."
Emily felt the soft warm lips of the Goddess on her forehead, right where her third eye was. Closing her eyes, she was confused when she opened them and she realized she had been crying and Hecate held her in her lap. "What the hell happened?" Emily questioned. The last thing she remembered was talking to Arnie.
"You must've fallen asleep and had a bad dream because when I came in you were laying on the floor asleep and in tears. I was trying to wake you."
Emily smiled the carefree smile of years before. Hecate knew the magick worked and all traces of the family she couldn't have was erased from Emily's mind. "What brought you here in the first place??"
Thinking quickly, Hecate remembered Who was on Their way over for an appointment. "I came to remind you Athena and Hera are on Their way. It sounds like They are in the mood to bicker..."
"Oh, Christ." Emily declared, getting up from the floor.
Just then there was a soft knock at the door and when Emily told them to come in, she saw Hermes open the door. In walked Athena and Hera, bickering as Hecate said. Very little was likely to be accomplished if she couldn't do something to pull Them out of that mood.
"Hello." Hermes said. He had such a kind smile, Emily thought, and he was much better looking than she would have imagined from the myths.
"Hello." Emily replied, smiling brightly at him.
"How goes things, Auntie?" Hermes asked Hecate.
Shaking her head and looking as if She were almost disappointed, She replied, "Things are done, Nephew. That is how they go."
Suddenly Hermes' whole face fell, as if something in Hecate's words made him extremely sad. The look on His face tugged at Emily's heart strings and she imagined hugging him...and kissing him...and...
Hecate and Hermes walked out together leaving Emily with the two powerful irritated Goddesses before her. Smiling at Them, she tried to get the images she conjured up of going to bed with Hermes out of her head as she looked at Athena and Hera and declared, "Before we begin, I want the two of you to remember you love each other. So play nice...and play fair. You will regret it if you don't put the work in. Even if you are Deities, you never know what tomorrow will bring. Something could come along and rip the two of you away from each other in the blink of an eye. So Athena, let's start by telling Hera what she can do now as your mother figure to be closer to you..."
